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Prison advice to aid former basketball star Richie Farmer

Richie Farmer arrives at the Federal Courthouse in Lexington, Ky.

Written by Jeff Smith  - Special to The Courier-Journal

Dear Richie,

Hello, Commissioner. You don’t know me, but we have a lot in common.

We were both captains of our high school basketball team, though I was surely no Mr. Basketball, and did not have the collegiate success you did. We both then used our basketball skills and contacts to advance our political careers. We both hate Duke generally, and in particular Christian Laettner.

And we’ve both lived in Manchester, Ky. — your hometown, and the place I spent 2010 in federal prison, which is of course the final and most unfortunate similarity.

Given these commonalities, I’ve followed your recent struggles and have a few thoughts, which I will offer in the spirit of tough love, and as someone who I think understands your predicament and — despite our divergent political views — wishes you well.

***

I don’t want to dwell on the past, Commissioner. But before we talk about prison, let’s start by talking about crisis management. Once you know they have you, you have to start thinking about the next stage of your life — not prison, but what comes afterward. Everything you do — right down to the smallest act, since you are in the piercing glare of the media spotlight — must be carefully calibrated to preserve what’s left of your public image. Just as with political strategy, any benefit you might gain from an action must be weighed against the potential downside.

Commissioner, your pre-trial request to take a planned Cancun vacation with your girlfriend did not meet that standard. First of all, Kentucky is a state where family values still matter, and it was not in your interest to call attention to the dissolution of your marriage. Second, Kentucky is a working-class state, and most Kentuckians don’t take vacations in Cancun — especially those who are unemployed, like you. Finally, although your current girlfriend is not the same girlfriend to whom you famously awarded a $60,000/year job as your “special assistant,” highlighting a vacation with your new paramour unfortunately reminds many of the brazen hiring of your ex-girlfriend.

In politics, we call this bad optics, and it might cost you a few points in a poll. But in a crisis, the consequences are more severe: It could cost you one of the few patrons you still have who might be willing to hire you post-prison. And without a lot of great prospects, that’s not something you can afford.

Now, Commissioner, let’s talk about prison for a moment. Here are a few tips:

1) As you probably learned growing up, God gave you two ears, two eyes and one mouth — use them in proportion.

• When you get to prison, listen, watch and learn. You’re used to politics, and you’re naturally outgoing. But prisons don’t elect class presidents, so forget politicking. As Coach Pitino might have advised you back in the glory days, you gotta let the game come to you.

• The prison administration will resent your presence, as it will mean added scrutiny. Your charm won’t work on them, so don’t try. Some guards may try to befriend you, though, which you should avoid. Be cordial but curt; you cannot be “friends” with guards. Sure, there may be gangs and racial/ethnic division among prisoners. But there are really only two teams: Inmates vs. the prison. When guards ask you to regale them with hoops stories, resist the impulse to be on stage again. Just try to blend in.

• Don’t ask anybody about their crime. If they want to tell you what they did, fine. But if you ask and strike a nerve with someone, the result won’t be pretty.

• Don’t talk about how you got railroaded. So did everyone else.

• Don’t ask about anyone’s family; not everyone has parents who join them at the courthouse, and it will be a sore subject with those who have not seen or heard from their family in years.

• Don’t talk about how much time you have. Most people have more.

2) Get back in playing shape.

• Set personal goals — maybe you want to run a marathon in prison; maybe you want to bench 300 pounds. Working out every day will help pass the time, keep your endorphins pumping, and keep you in a better frame of mind.

• Use your basketball skills to help others. Running the point and making your teammates better may be an effective way to build alliances.

• Be careful on the court. Some people who have it out for you may exploit the opportunity to try to hurt you on the athletic field and not get in trouble for it.

3) Forgive your enemies.

In politics, you reward your friends, punish your enemies. In prison, it is very difficult to reward anyone and impossible to punish them. More to the point, you can’t do time if you’re bitter. So let go of any anger you may have toward the U.S. attorney, or people who snitched on you, or friends who abandoned you. If you don’t, your time will be miserable.

4) Open your mind.

• Read all the books you wanted to read, but never had time. Then read all the ones you should have read, but didn’t want to.

• Don’t discount the possibility of making true friends. You will meet some fascinating people. Listen to their stories, and learn from them.

5) Don’t snitch.

• The only people in prison who have it harder than child molesters are snitches. You need to learn how to see things without seeing them.

6) Don’t break prison rules.

• This may seem contradictory. The last rule suggested that you should tolerate prison rule-breaking — and you should. But try not to violate rules yourself.

• Don’t gamble. If you lose, you’ll be in debt and you do not want to be compromised like that. If you win, someone will be angry and may figure out a way to get his money back — a way that might leave you unrecognizable.

• Don’t “hold” anything someone asks you to hold. Even if it looks innocuous, it’s probably got contraband inside of it.

• If you need a hustle to survive (i.e., stealing and selling food from the kitchen), don’t encroach on someone else’s hustle. Others will need the stamps (money) more than you, and competition can be fierce.

7) Don’t look for trouble.

• Don’t change the TV channel. There is a stringent seniority-based regime when it comes to TV watching, and your celebrity does not entitle you to alter it in any way.

• Don’t stare. There is generally no reason to make eye contact unless someone says your name.

• Don’t eat the Snickers. During orientation, you’ll watch a mandatory sexual assault prevention video featuring a guy warning you not to eat the Snickers bar that may be waiting for you on your bed in your cell. (The actor ate the one left under his pillow, unwittingly signaling the predator who left it for him that he was ready and willing.) All the guys watching the video will laugh. But take the video’s message to heart: Don’t accept sweets from anyone.


http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20130915/OPINION04/309150029/Prison-advice-aid-Richie-Farmer