I am with an inmate that keeps coming home violating parole and going back to jail he is so sweet and loving to me but 1x a week he stays out he doesn't call til; the next day how do I now hes not using drugs .,

Unfortunately, you already know the answer to this one.  Your loved one is still using and no matter how they appear most of the time, those unexplained absences are explained when he violates (as a result of a UI or other tests). The only person that can change is the person using - they have to want to change or nothing will change.