The Top Three Rules of Prison Inmate Etiquette
Your first few weeks and indeed your entire stay in prison will be made entirely more tolerable if you adhere to top three rules of inmate etiquette. Obeying these rules will help to positively shape your reputation, which will follow you throughout your sentence.
1. Don't Rat
If you and another inmate have a problem, you settle it amongst yourselves. You do not go to the CO. You do not go to the Counselor or Unit Manager. If you see something going on that shouldn't be, keep it to yourself. It's none of your business. You are an inmate, not a cop.
The only exception to this rule that I can think of is if you genuinely feel that your life is in danger. In this case, the CO will have you moved to the hole. An investigation will follow. If you are lucky you will be moved to another institution. If you are not, the other inmate will be moved or it will be decided that there does not exist a sufficient threat. In both scenarios you will be placed back in general population where you will forever be labeled a rat.
Halfway through my stay, two men got into a fight and were both sent to the hole. Six weeks later, one of the men was returned to the unit. The other man did not return. The rumor quickly spread that the man who had returned had gone to the unit counselor saying that he feared for his life. This resulted in the other man, who was very well liked in the unit, being shipped to another institution. From then on, the man who had returned to the unit was labeled a rat and was completely ostracized. Most people stopped talking to him. Nearly every day, he found notes on his cube that read "RAT", he was verbally abused and he was relegated to the far corner of the TV room. He was very lucky to avoid any physical violence.
Now, if his life was really in immediate danger, perhaps going to the counselor was the only action he could have taken-his resulting situation just an unfortunate reality of prison life. It is far more likely that he panicked and made a rash decision. And regardless, the entire situation could have been avoided altogether if he had not gotten into the fight in the first place.
2. Mind Your Own Business
You'll often hear inmates refer to the term, "Do your own time". This is the equivalent to "Mind your own business" and is absolutely paramount to avoiding trouble. In many ways, prison is like high school. A large group of people spend a lot of time together every day for years. Inevitably this leads to rumors, speculation and gossip.
Do not get involved. Aside from the fact that most of the information that floats around is patently false or greatly exaggerated, if you choose to pass gossip along you run the very real risk of being confronted by the inmate in question or of finding yourself in the middle of a heated argument. Avoid the hassle and steer clear of gossip and rumors. Further, due to the utter lack of privacy, you will constantly hear the conversations of other inmates. Do not make an active attempt to listen. Do not respond to what is being said. If you can't help but to listen, make sure it is not obvious that you are doing so.
Along these same lines, be careful about asking too many questions about the personal or legal situation of other inmates as you will be suspected of being a rat. As my celly liked to say, "The more you know, the more you can tell". The one question that is okay to ask is, "how much time you get?" You will be asked this constantly, especially when you first arrive. You'll also notice that no one will ask you about your charges. It may seem like the most reasonable question in the world considering where you are, but it is a cardinal sin. You'll find that over time as you get to know the other inmates, many will share their stories with you. This is fine. But you never ask.
Finally, when you are walking around the unit, absolutely do not look into the cubes or cells of other inmates. You will be suspected of being a thief or a pervert and likely quickly confronted.
3. Never get too Comfortable
Believe it or not (and it will likely be hard to believe your first few weeks), eventually you will get to know a number of other inmates, you will fall into a regular routine and you will get used to your new home. Prison life will begin to seem quite normal. This is good. But never let yourself get too comfortable. By this I mean, never let your guard down. Always remember where you are. Don't say too much. Don't ask too much. Don't call undue attention to yourself.
In many ways, prison mirrors mainstream society. Over time, certain rules, spoken and unspoken have developed. These rules serve to dictate acceptable inmate behavior and maintain order. Those who disregard the rules are ostracized or confronted by members of the community. The one major difference of course is that in prison there is nowhere to hide and nowhere to go and try to start again. For that reason, it is vital that you understand and adhere to the inmate rules and the prison culture from day one.
Jonathan Richards is a former federal prison inmate. His report on surviving federal prison including all Twelve Golden Rules of Prison Etiquette is available at http://www.federal-prison.org
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