Tiffany Carlton: Prison is changing my life

Before my arrest, I was a lost soul and without hope. Now I am absorbing everything positive around me.

TIFFANY CARLTON currently lives in the Iowa Correctional Institution for Women in Mitchellville. Contact:jerry.jauron@iowa.gov

Written by Tiffany Carlton  Jun 24, 2012

Have you ever had one of those moments where know you are exactly where you are supposed to be in life? When that happened to me, I stopped and looked around and thought: “How can that be? I’m in prison.”

After being prescribed strong pain medicine and enjoying it, I began to do whatever was necessary to get my hands on more. I faked pain if front of doctors and medical staff. It’s hard to admit I wasted a good portion of my student loans on opiates and heroin. My disgusting addiction led me down a path that no one should ever travel.

I acted selfishly in order to feed my addiction. In a desperate act fueled by my need to feed the beast that was dwelling within me, I went to two different pharmacies in Cedar Rapids and demanded pain medication. I got what I thought I needed so bad — and was arrested a short time later.

My family was unaware of my capability to do such things. They were all left understandably shocked. Choosing wrong instead of right kept me battling my demons. My personal sense of fame turned into shame.

I know by looking to the sky that I have been forgiven and my spirit is renewed. This journey has in no way been easy, and it remains difficult to accept the things I have done. Yet prison has been a healthy consequence for me. I have been an inmate for about nine months and have made significant progress.

My pastor visited me in jail. His presence alone comforted me and showed me that he truly cared. Pastor Dan always said the things my immature mind and waning soul needed to hear. He simply told me, “Be honest and God will open doors for you.” Since then, so many doors have opened for me. The difference is motivation. Now each day I accomplish things that, I believe, better me as a person.

I live within a therapeutic community that is designed to help women with similar problems address their own negative behaviors. This works by having us hold one another accountable for our actions. I was initially shocked and not very receptive to this in-your-face method of correcting each other.

After time, I began to realize how effective this way of living was, and witnessed firsthand how productive it can be in such a structured environment. If a woman finds herself here, and if she really wants to better herself, she should be completely open and willing to being placed in one of the drug treatment programs offered.

The most influential opportunity presented to me was “Life Skills.” I was unaware of how beneficial this class would be. Life Skills instructor Jerry Jauron is by far the most dedicated and effective teacher I have come across. I’m afraid that after he retires, future Life Skills students will miss out on the many things this exceptional man has to offer. He has given me tools to take on anything. These tools will be useful to me throughout my days.

Before my arrest, I was a lost soul and without hope. Now I am absorbing everything positive around me. I am confident and capable. My mother would be proud. Thanks to the inmates, dedicated employees and those who have helped me, I am now a felon with a future.