why are you not talking to the woman you supposedy love

Being in a relationship with someone you can't actually BE in a relationship with is a maddening process that rarely makes it through the bid if it's more than a few years. The inmate has a vivid imagination of what you are (might) doing while he's locked up (even if you haven't even been tempted). That makes him unjustly angry. You're picturing other women communicating with him, even visiting. The trust between you deteriorates becasue of the lack of real contact. It takes a strong bond and two strong-minded people to make it out the other side of incarceration.