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All you can do is continue writing letters. Some inmates, especially newly incarcerated ones are affected by the harsh disconnection from society. They might be "in their feelings" and are not ready to communicate with people on the outside just yet. If you are persistent, the letters will eventually make an impact and she will eventually respond.Read more
This question gets asked a lot. The issue at hand is that the privacy of an inmate is the same for people on the outside. The ONLY way to find out who is visiting them or who they are calling is to ask the inmate themselves. The BOP or any state DOC will not offer that information to anyone without the permission of the inmateRead more
Yes, it is excruciating - almost like dying and watching your family go on without you. Your mind plays tricks on you and your self-talk is always questioning whether the wife is faithful. It creates stress, anxiety and fighting on the phone.Read more
This is not unusual, in fact, this is the main problem with relationships in prison. The inmate has all day to create the worst possible scenarios in their brain about what is going on outside the walls. They don't have control of their situation and they have only their loved ones to take it out on. I used to tell people "i felt like i died and was forced to watch my family's life to go on without me". IRead more
We all believe in second chances and in fact, InmateAid helps former inmates find great employment opportunities. It is our opinion that falling in love with someone in jail for murder is a slippery slope. First, there is the separation time that is the length of their sentence. Second, that time is not easy to do, waiting for someone to get out, dealing with the bad times (on the phone when he accuses you of cheating even if you're not).Read more
There is nothing to know. If a guard "gets with an inmate" it is RAPE, pure and simple. The guard becomes an inmate (for at least 5 years), so don't let your imagination get the best of you. Can it happen? Yes. Does it happen? Very rarely because the penalty is stiffer on the guard.Read more
Yes, this is a normal, typical experience that most women go through in riding out a sentence with an inmate you love. They have nothing but time to think about all the possibilities that are happening on the outside. Inmates create a "science fiction novel" in their head and dump all that on you, either on the phone or at the visitation. There is nothing you can do but maintain your innocence. This is the kind of thing that makesRead more
He doesn't want to see you. Try sending a letter and find out why.Read more
Your inmate might be deep in his feelings. He's looking an amount of time that is making him think that the future with you is limited, that you might leave him anyway. Give it some time (as he suggests) and then try again in a few weeks, maybe send him a magazine subscription that would have him thinking about "who sent it" every time he gets an issue?Read more