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This is not unusual, in fact, this is the main problem with relationships in prison. The inmate has all day to create the worst possible scenarios in their brain about what is going on outside the walls. They don't have control of their situation and they have only their loved ones to take it out on. I used to tell people "i felt like i died and was forced to watch my family's life to go on without me". IRead more
We all believe in second chances and in fact, InmateAid helps former inmates find great employment opportunities. It is our opinion that falling in love with someone in jail for murder is a slippery slope. First, there is the separation time that is the length of their sentence. Second, that time is not easy to do, waiting for someone to get out, dealing with the bad times (on the phone when he accuses you of cheating even if you're not).Read more
There is nothing to know. If a guard "gets with an inmate" it is RAPE, pure and simple. The guard becomes an inmate (for at least 5 years), so don't let your imagination get the best of you. Can it happen? Yes. Does it happen? Very rarely because the penalty is stiffer on the guard.Read more
Yes, this is a normal, typical experience that most women go through in riding out a sentence with an inmate you love. They have nothing but time to think about all the possibilities that are happening on the outside. Inmates create a "science fiction novel" in their head and dump all that on you, either on the phone or at the visitation. There is nothing you can do but maintain your innocence. This is the kind of thing that makesRead more
He doesn't want to see you. Try sending a letter and find out why.Read more
Your inmate might be deep in his feelings. He's looking an amount of time that is making him think that the future with you is limited, that you might leave him anyway. Give it some time (as he suggests) and then try again in a few weeks, maybe send him a magazine subscription that would have him thinking about "who sent it" every time he gets an issue?Read more
No one can see who they are calling, visiting, texting or receiving money or mail from, they are provided with the same privacy on the inside as you are on the outsideRead more
Inmates go through a period of despair upon being incarcerated. Their wave of emotions spans from sadness to anger, to blaming others before reality hits them in the face that they are locked up because of actions taken by themselves. Keep in touch for a while longer and see if things improve. Our take is that they will improve and ultimately the kindness you've shown will pay dividends in their behavior later in their sentence.Read more
Come on!! Are you serious?!?! You sound pathetic. If you are worried that your inmate is cheating on you while in prison, you need to discontinue all contact and move on with your life. If your imagination has your inmate having sex with the staff, you are mistaken. If a staff member has sex with an inmate, they become the prisoner (for about 5-8 years, it's called rape when sex with an inmate is involved).Read more