Marriage and Relationships During Incarceration in Massachusetts

Relationships During Incarceration in Massachusetts | InmateAid

Massachusetts made everything free.

On December 1, 2023, Governor Maura Healey signed legislation eliminating charges for all communications services at Massachusetts correctional facilities -- state prisons and county jails both. Through Securus Technologies, phone calls, video visits, e-messaging, text connect, eCards, VideoGrams, and photo attachments are all available at no cost. No cap on the number of calls. No account to fund before the call connects. Nothing to do to activate it -- it happened automatically.

Massachusetts became the fifth state to provide free prison phone calls and the first to extend the policy to all local jails as well. California made audio calls free in 2023. Connecticut made calls and e-messaging free in 2021. Illinois launched a pilot with limited free minutes in 2025. Massachusetts went further than any of them: everything, free, state and county, no cap.

For the woman on the outside, this changes the financial architecture of maintaining contact more completely than any other state in this series. The $18 call that opens the Florida article does not happen in Massachusetts. The commissary conversation still happens. The money he needs for commissary still comes from her. But the phone call itself, the video visit, the e-message she sends at 11pm after the kids are in bed -- none of those cost her anything.

What it does not change is the relationship dynamic underneath the call. Free calls do not make the calls honest. Free video does not make the visits about connection rather than transaction. Everything that matters about the relationship still has to be built the same way it gets built in every other state. The communication channel just no longer costs money.

There are no experts here. We have experience. You measure your situation against ours and decide what is true for you.

The Wife and the Girlfriend Are Not the Same Person

It happens in Massachusetts visiting rooms the same way it happens everywhere else -- at MCI Norfolk, at MCI Concord, at Souza-Baranowski Correctional Center in Shirley, at MCI Framingham for women, at MCI Cedar Junction in South Walpole.

Some of the men inside are running two tracks. There is the woman who knows the real situation and the woman who knows the version he performs. In Massachusetts, because everything is free, he can call both of them as many times as he wants at no cost to anyone. More access does not mean more honesty. It can mean more management of both tracks simultaneously.

The one who knows the real situation is talking about the now. She is managing a Massachusetts household -- in Boston, in Worcester, in Springfield, in one of the smaller cities or the suburbs -- and she is doing it without another adult. Massachusetts costs of living are real. Boston rents are among the highest in the country. She is not romantic about the relationship because she cannot afford to be romantic about anything.

The other one is talking about the future. She is holding onto a version of the relationship that has not been tested by ordinary Massachusetts life. In Massachusetts, because the call is free, he can call her every day without it costing her anything. The relationship can sustain itself at a comfortable distance from reality for longer than in states where the call costs $18.

He treats them differently. With the one who knows everything he is more transactional. With the other one he is more careful, still performing. The free call makes both tracks easier to maintain.

Some women reading this are the one who knows everything. Some are the other one. Some are finding out right now which one they are.

If you are not sure: does he know what is actually happening in your week, or does he only know what he needs from it? Are you the person he calls when something is good, or only when something is needed? Have you ever met anyone in his life who knew about you?

The answers are not comfortable. But they are information.

What Free Everything Changes -- And What It Does Not

Since December 2023, all of the following are free in Massachusetts through Securus Technologies:

Phone calls. Video visits (Securus Video Connect). E-messaging. Text Connect. eCards. VideoGrams. Photo attachments.

Not all services are available at every facility -- check the specific facility to confirm what is offered there. But the core contact channels -- calls and video -- are free at all 14 MA DOC correctional facilities and at county jails.

What this means for the woman outside:

She does not pay for the call. She does not pay for the video visit. She does not need to fund an account before the first call connects. If she sends an e-message at 11pm, it does not cost her anything. The financial pressure that comes from phone and video contact in most other states in this series is substantially eliminated.

What it does not change:

Commissary still costs money. He still needs trust account funds for hygiene products, extra food, and other necessities the facility does not provide. The commissary request still comes. The financial pressure shifts from communication to commissary, which is still real and still worth a real conversation about what she can sustainably send.

The relationship dynamic does not change because the call is free. The call can still be about commissary instead of connection. The video visit can still be 20 minutes of him managing the situation from inside rather than being present in it. Free communication gives both of them more opportunity. What they do with the opportunity depends on choices neither the phone system nor the legislation can make for them.

The Commissary Conversation

Even with free calls and free video, the conversation still turns to his books.

He is dependent. He cannot buy his own hygiene products or extra food or make his own calls -- wait, in Massachusetts he can make calls for free -- without funds in his commissary account. The dependency around commissary remains real even when the phone dependency is gone. The need comes through the free call as asking and sometimes as pressure.

You are managing a Massachusetts household. Boston is one of the most expensive cities in the country. Worcester and Springfield have their own cost pressures. The rent, the groceries, the heating bill in a Massachusetts winter -- none of it pauses because he is not there.

Women ask about this on InmateAid's Ask the Inmate section more than almost any other relationship question. Whether he is using the free calls to call other women. Whether the money she sends for commissary is going where he says. Whether the need is about love or about logistics. The wondering sits underneath every call -- even the free ones -- and does not go away until someone names it out loud.

The conversation that saves the relationship is the one where you name the actual number you can send for commissary and hold to it. Set a sustainable monthly amount. Communicate it clearly. Hold it. The call being free does not mean the commissary conversation goes away. It just means you have to have it on its own terms.

What She Is Carrying That He Cannot See

When he went in, she absorbed everything he used to do. Every decision. Every bill. Every school meeting and sick kid and broken appliance and form that needs a signature. Every night the house is quiet in a way that is not peace.

Massachusetts is a densely populated state with communities that range from Boston's urban neighborhoods to the former mill cities of the Connecticut River Valley to the rural areas of western Massachusetts and the Cape and Islands. The social dynamics vary. In Boston's close neighborhoods, the news travels. In smaller cities like Holyoke or Fall River or New Bedford, the community is tighter and the news travels faster. In the suburbs, there is more anonymity but less community.

Friends leave when the news is bad. Family members who had reservations feel confirmed. What is left is her, managing children who are watching her to understand how they are supposed to feel about all of this.

The geography of Massachusetts facilities is more forgiving than most states in this series. MCI Cedar Junction is 25 miles south of Boston. MCI Norfolk is nearby. MCI Framingham is 25 miles west. The furthest major facility is roughly 90 minutes from the city. For most Massachusetts families, the visit does not require an all-day commitment the way it does in Alaska or southern Illinois or rural Kansas.

The person inside experiences deprivation. What he often cannot see is that she is deprived too -- not of freedom but of partnership, of another adult, of someone to hand the weight to at the end of the day. The resentment that grows from that gap is real. It is not a sign the relationship is wrong. It is a sign both of them are under a pressure most couples never face.

The Doubt Is Normal

At some point, most women in this situation think about leaving.

In Massachusetts, the doubt can arrive with a particular texture: the calls are free, the video is free, the messages are free -- and it still is not enough. The abundance of contact without the depth of connection can make the gap between what the relationship is and what she needs clearer rather than less clear. Free access to him does not mean she has him back.

The thought is not betrayal. It is what happens when a person carries more than they were built to carry alone.

Some women leave. Some should. The sentence can reveal things about the relationship that were already true. Leaving is not failure.

Some women stay and build something. Not the relationship they had before. Something different. Something tested in a way most couples never are. The ones who build something stopped pretending and had the real conversations.

We are not going to tell you to stay or go. We will tell you that the doubt is not proof the relationship is wrong. It is proof that you are paying attention.

The Social Isolation Nobody Warns You About

Massachusetts has strong community networks in some areas and real anonymity in others. In Boston, you can disappear into the city and almost no one knows what is happening in your life. In the mill cities of western Massachusetts or the smaller coastal communities, the news travels and people have opinions. In either environment, the social world that existed around the relationship changes when the news is bad.

Some people disappear. Some offer opinions. What you need -- one person who can sit with you in the reality of what this is without making it about themselves -- is harder to find than it should be.

Massachusetts has some of the most developed social support infrastructure in the country. Legal aid organizations in Boston and across the state, reentry support groups, advocacy organizations like Families Against Mandatory Minimums and Prisoners' Legal Services of Massachusetts. The MA DOC Family and Friends resources page is at mass.gov/corrections. If you can find one person who can hold your reality without judgment, find them and let them in.

Visiting in Massachusetts: 48 Hours Advance, Valid ID, Last-Name Schedules

Massachusetts does not have conjugal visits. No private time at any MA DOC facility.

In-person visits must be scheduled in advance -- typically 48 hours at facilities like MCI Cedar Junction. You must be on the approved visitor list. Valid photo ID required. Dress code enforced (see 103 CMR 483.15 for full details; the code is detailed and specific about what is and is not allowed).

At MCI Shirley Medium, the schedule splits by last name on weekends: Saturday Session 1 (1-4pm) is inmates A-L; Session 2 (5:30-8:30pm) is inmates M-Z; Sunday reverses (Session 1 is M-Z; Session 2 is A-L). Wednesday through Friday is open for all general population inmates. Four visiting periods per week allowed; two adult visitors plus minors per session.

Each facility sets its own schedule and rules within the framework of 103 CMR 483. Check the specific facility page at mass.gov/corrections before planning any visit.

For video visits: Securus Video Connect is free and available at all 14 MA DOC facilities. Set up a Securus account (even though calls are free, an account helps manage scheduling and contact lists). Visit securustechnologies.com or call 800-844-6591.

**Dress code note**: Massachusetts has an extensive dress code -- one of the most detailed in this series. The list of prohibited items includes boots above the knee (except from October 15 to April 15), work boots (never permitted), hooded clothing, sheer or transparent clothing, spandex, double-layered bottoms, gang-affiliated clothing, fatigue or camouflage, and many more. Read the dress code before the visit. A visitor who violates the dress code may be sent away to change and return during the same day -- but repeat violations can result in suspension of visiting privileges.

The Practical Layer: What Needs to Happen

When a partner is incarcerated in Massachusetts, the practical tasks land on the person outside.

**Power of attorney.** Any legal or financial matter requiring his signature needs power of attorney. MA DOC facilities have notary services. LawDepot offers templates. Do this early.

**Massachusetts marital property.** Massachusetts is an equitable distribution state, not community property. Marital assets divided fairly but not necessarily equally. Understand what you are jointly responsible for.

**Joint finances.** Address shared accounts now. Joint debts continue.

**Benefits.** SNAP, MassHealth (Medicaid), childcare assistance through CCFA, heating assistance through LIHEAP. Massachusetts has one of the strongest social service infrastructures in the country. Use what exists.

**Communications.** Phone, video, e-messaging all free through Securus Technologies. No cost to set up, no cost to use. Securus: securustechnologies.com, 800-844-6591. A Securus account helps manage contact lists and scheduling even though calls are free.

**Commissary.** This is where the money goes now. Trust account deposits at mass.gov/corrections. Know the process at the specific facility.

None of this is the romantic part of the relationship. All of it is the relationship.

For the Partner Inside: What You Cannot See

This section is for him.

In Massachusetts, the call is free. The video visit is free. The e-message is free. He has more communication access than almost any other incarcerated person in this series.

Use it for connection and not for logistics. Use it to ask about her week before asking about his books. Use the video visit to look at her, to let the kids see his face, to be present in the call rather than managing it. The free call is a gift -- make it worth having.

And understand something: the abundance of free contact can create the illusion of intimacy without the substance. If every call is about what he needs, the relationship is not being maintained -- it is being serviced. There is a difference.

When He Gets Out: The Part Nobody Wants to Say

The girlfriend who held onto the idea of him -- who took all the free calls and video visits and built a version of the relationship on the abundance of contact -- is usually gone within the first month after release. The adjustment to ordinary Massachusetts life, the reentry challenges in one of the most expensive states in the country, the way he is different from what she remembered -- it is harder than the free calls suggested. Most of those relationships do not survive contact with Tuesday.

The woman who managed the Massachusetts household alone, who drove to MCI Norfolk and MCI Cedar Junction and the other facilities, who told the truth about the money and stayed when staying was the hardest thing -- she already knows who he is under pressure. She has no illusions left. That absence of illusion is what makes rebuilding possible.

Reentry in Massachusetts is hard. Boston's housing market is extraordinarily expensive. Employment for people with felony records is limited. Supervision conditions are real constraints. He has been institutionalized in ways neither of you fully understands until you are living in the same space again.

The girlfriend is hoping for the relationship she imagined. The woman who wrote through thick and thin is working with the one that actually exists.

FAQ

**Are phone calls, video, and e-messaging really free in Massachusetts?** Yes. Since December 1, 2023, all communications services at Massachusetts state and county correctional facilities are free. This includes phone calls, Securus Video Connect, e-messaging, Text Connect, eCards, VideoGrams, and photo attachments -- all through Securus Technologies. There is no cap on the number of calls. Governor Maura Healey signed the legislation (S.1494/H.1796); Massachusetts was the fifth state to make prison calls free and the first to extend it to all county jails as well.

**Does the free communication policy cover video visits too?** Yes. Securus Video Connect is free at all 14 MA DOC facilities. Some services may not be available at every facility -- confirm what is available at the specific facility where your person is housed.

**Does Massachusetts have conjugal visits?** No. Massachusetts does not have conjugal visits at any state DOC facility. Contact visits are available under the visiting rules at each facility.

**What is the dress code for Massachusetts prison visits?** Extensive and specific. Prohibited items include boots above the knee (work boots never permitted), hooded clothing, spandex, sheer or transparent clothing, double-layered bottoms, gang-affiliated clothing, fatigues or camouflage, and many others. Read the full dress code in 103 CMR 483.15 or at the specific facility's visiting rules before your first visit. Violations may result in being sent away to change or suspension of visiting privileges.

**What is the visiting schedule at MCI Shirley?** Wednesday through Friday open for all general population; weekends split by last name (Saturday: A-L first session, M-Z second session; Sunday reverses). Four visiting periods per week maximum; two adult visitors plus minors per session. Check mass.gov/corrections for current hours.

**Is it normal to think about leaving?** Yes. Almost every woman in this situation thinks about it at some point. The thought does not mean the relationship is over. In Massachusetts, where calls are free and contact is abundant, the doubt can arrive differently -- not because she can't reach him but because reaching him doesn't fill the gap of what she actually needs. If the thought comes with relief rather than grief, that is worth taking seriously.

**What happens to the relationship when he gets out?** Reentry in Massachusetts is hard. Boston housing is extraordinarily expensive. Employment for felony records is limited. Supervision conditions are real. The free calls may have sustained an idea of the relationship that contact with ordinary life will test. The ones that have the best chance are built on honesty about who both people are under pressure.