Relationships During Incarceration in Minnesota | InmateAid
Minnesota phone calls from state correctional facilities are free for both the incarcerated person and the person receiving the call. The Minnesota DOC confirmed this policy through its GTL/ConnectNetwork partnership. As of May 14, 2025, a 15-minute wait period was added between completed calls to prevent any one person from monopolizing the phones -- but the calls themselves remain free.
This puts Minnesota in the same category as California, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and a small number of other states that have eliminated the financial barrier around phone contact. The $18 call that opens the Florida article does not happen in Minnesota. What happens instead is a free call, which is real and meaningful, and which still may or may not be about connection rather than transaction.
On August 4, 2025, the Minnesota DOC launched an electronic visiting application system, replacing the paper application that had previously been mailed to the facility by postal service. The electronic form is at mndoc.formstack.com. Paper applications are no longer accepted as of August 11, 2025. If you submitted a paper application before August 11 and it has not been processed, contact the facility. If you are submitting a new application, use the electronic system.
One warning the DOC states explicitly: do not submit multiple applications. Submitting more than one application moves your request to the bottom of the processing list and delays approval.
And MCF-Stillwater is being phased out. The facility in Bayport (listed as Stillwater address) is undergoing a planned phased closure. If your person is housed there, follow mn.gov/doc for updates on transfer timelines.
There are no experts here. We have experience. You measure your situation against ours and decide what is true for you.
The Wife and the Girlfriend Are Not the Same Person
It happens in Minnesota visiting rooms the same way it happens everywhere else -- at MCF Oak Park Heights in Stillwater, at MCF Faribault, at MCF Lino Lakes, at MCF Rush City, at MCF Shakopee for women, at the facilities spread across the state.
Some of the men inside are running two tracks. There is the woman who knows the real situation and the woman who knows the version he performs. In Minnesota, where phone calls are free, he can call both of them as many times as the 15-minute wait period allows. More access does not mean more honesty. Free calls can mean more management of both tracks simultaneously.
The one who knows the real situation is talking about the now. She is managing a Minnesota household -- in Minneapolis, in St. Paul, in Duluth, in Rochester, in one of the smaller cities or the rural communities -- and she is doing it without another adult. Minnesota winters are real and they are long. The heating bill runs from October to April. She has this week and what this week costs.
The other one is talking about the future. She is holding onto a version of the relationship that has not been tested by ordinary Minnesota life. In Minnesota, because the call is free, the relationship can sustain itself at a comfortable distance from reality for longer than in states where every call costs money.
He treats them differently. With the one who knows everything he is more transactional, more likely to bring up what he needs before asking how she is. With the other one he is more careful, still performing. The free call makes both tracks easier to maintain.
Some women reading this are the one who knows everything. Some are the other one. Some are finding out right now which one they are.
If you are not sure: does he know what is actually happening in your week, or does he only know what he needs from it? Are you the person he calls when something is good, or only when something is needed? Have you ever met anyone in his life who knew about you?
The answers are not comfortable. But they are information.
What Free Calls Change -- And What They Do Not
Because phone calls in Minnesota are free, the financial pressure that dominates phone contact in most other states in this series is substantially eliminated. He can call as often as the 15-minute wait period between calls allows. That is a real gift compared to the $18 call that produces the commissary argument in Florida.
What it does not change:
Commissary still costs money. Trust account funds still needed for hygiene products, extra food, and other necessities. The commissary request still comes through the free call. The financial pressure shifts from communication to commissary.
The relationship dynamic does not change because the call is free. A free call can still be 20 minutes of him managing the situation from inside rather than being present in it. Use the free calls for connection. Ask about her week before asking about his books. Let the time be about the relationship and not the transaction.
Note on the 15-minute wait: as of May 14, 2025, after each completed call there is a 15-minute waiting period before the next call can be made. This is a fairness policy to ensure everyone has access to the phones. It is not a cost -- the calls remain free. Plan the call schedule around it.
The Commissary Conversation
Even with free calls, the conversation can still turn to his books.
He is dependent. He cannot buy his own hygiene products or extra food without trust account funds. The dependency produces need that comes through the free call as asking and sometimes as pressure. The call being free does not make the dynamic easier to navigate if neither of you has named what is actually happening.
You are managing a Minnesota household. Minneapolis and the Twin Cities metro have real costs. Minnesota winters mean real heating bills from October through April. Whatever the local reality, the bills do not pause.
Women ask about this on InmateAid's Ask the Inmate section more than almost any other relationship question. Whether he is using the free calls to call other women. Whether the money she sends for commissary is going where he says. Whether the need is about love or about logistics. The wondering sits underneath every call -- even the free ones -- and does not go away until someone names it out loud.
Set a sustainable monthly number for commissary. Communicate it clearly. Hold it. The call being free is a gift. Use it for connection. Let the commissary conversation happen separately and honestly.
What She Is Carrying That He Cannot See
When he went in, she absorbed everything he used to do. Every decision. Every bill. Every school meeting and sick kid and frozen pipe and form that needs a signature. Every night the house is quiet in a way that is not peace. In Minnesota, a frozen pipe is not a metaphor.
Minnesota's communities range from Minneapolis and St. Paul's urban neighborhoods to the Iron Range to the farm country of the southern part of the state to the lake country of the north. In each of these places, the social world changes when the news is bad. Some people disappear. Family members who had reservations feel confirmed. What is left is her, managing children who are watching her to understand how they are supposed to feel about all of this.
Most Minnesota DOC facilities are within 1-2 hours of the Twin Cities metro. MCF Faribault is 55 miles south of Minneapolis. MCF Rush City is about 50 miles north. MCF Lino Lakes is 25 miles north of St. Paul. MCF Moose Lake is 90 miles north. The geography is more forgiving than states like Michigan or Alaska or Kansas. The visit is reachable in most cases.
The person inside experiences deprivation. What he often cannot see is that she is deprived too -- not of freedom but of partnership, of another adult, of someone to hand the weight to at the end of the day. The resentment that grows from that gap is real. It is not a sign the relationship is wrong. It is a sign both of them are under a pressure most couples never face.
MCF-Stillwater: What the Phased Closure Means
If your person is housed at MCF-Stillwater (970 Pickett Street, Bayport, MN 55003), the facility is undergoing a planned phased closure. Minnesota DOC has posted a memo about the closure timeline on the facility page at mn.gov/doc/facilities/stillwater.
What this means practically: at some point, residents currently at Stillwater will be transferred to other MDOC facilities. The visiting room you have been driving to, the routines you have built, the specific staff you know -- all of that will change. The new facility may be further away or may be closer, depending on where the transfer lands.
Follow the facility page at mn.gov/doc for current updates. If you have questions about a specific person's transfer timeline, contact the facility directly. Do not wait until a planned visit to find out that the transfer has happened.
This is the kind of information the person inside may know before the person outside does. If your person is at Stillwater: ask him what he knows about the closure and where he expects to transfer. That information affects your visiting plans.
The Doubt Is Normal
At some point, most women in this situation think about leaving.
Maybe it was the commissary call even though the call was free. Maybe it was a Minnesota January alone with the kids when the temperature dropped to minus twenty and the heating system needed attention and there was nobody to call. Maybe it was the phased closure announcement for Stillwater and the realization that the routine she had built is about to change again. Maybe it was just a Thursday.
The thought is not betrayal. It is what happens when a person carries more than they were built to carry alone.
Some women leave. Some should. The sentence can reveal things about the relationship that were already true. Leaving is not failure.
Some women stay and build something. Not the relationship they had before. Something different. Something tested in a way most couples never are. The ones who build something stopped pretending and had the real conversations.
We are not going to tell you to stay or go. We will tell you that the doubt is not proof the relationship is wrong. It is proof that you are paying attention.
The Social Isolation Nobody Warns You About
Minnesota's communities tend toward community but also toward a particular upper midwestern privacy. When the news is bad, people may not say anything -- but they know and they adjust. The social world that existed around the relationship changes. Some people disappear. Some say the wrong thing once. Some offer the kind of vague supportive nothing that does not actually help.
What you need -- one person who can sit with you in the reality of what this is without making it about themselves -- is harder to find than it should be.
Minnesota has legal aid organizations and reentry support groups particularly in Minneapolis and St. Paul. The MN DOC family and visitor information is at mn.gov/doc/family-visitor. Commissioner Paul Schnell has publicly noted the DOC's commitment to accessible family connections. If you can find one person who can hold your reality without judgment, find them and let them in.
Visiting in Minnesota: Electronic Application, Victim Prohibition, Free Calls
Minnesota does not have conjugal visits. No private time at any MN DOC facility.
**Electronic visiting application (effective August 4, 2025):** All adult correctional facilities now use an electronic visiting application process. Paper applications are no longer accepted as of August 11, 2025. Submit your application at: mndoc.formstack.com/forms/doc_visiting_privilege_application (English) or the Spanish version at the same domain.
**Do not submit multiple applications.** The DOC explicitly states that submitting more than one application moves your request to the bottom of the processing list and delays approval. Submit once and wait. You will receive a confirmation email.
**No information on visiting list by phone.** If you want to know whether you are on the approved visitor list, present your photo ID at any MCF location. They will not tell you over the phone.
**Victim prohibition:** Since 2016, anyone identified as a victim of the incarcerated person's active/current offense is completely prohibited from visitation. If there is an active protective order or no-contact directive, visitation is also prohibited.
**Contact visits** are available at most facilities within the visiting rules. Check each facility's page at mn.gov/doc for current visiting hours and scheduling.
**Phone calls:** Free for both the incarcerated person and the person receiving the call. 15-minute wait between completed calls as of May 2025. GTL/ConnectNetwork is the phone provider. MNDOC main line: 651-361-7200.
The Practical Layer: What Needs to Happen
When a partner is incarcerated in Minnesota, the practical tasks land on the person outside.
**Power of attorney.** Any legal or financial matter requiring his signature needs power of attorney. Minnesota DOC facilities have notary services. LawDepot offers templates. Do this early.
**Minnesota marital property.** Minnesota is an equitable distribution state, not community property. Marital assets divided fairly but not necessarily equally. Understand what you are jointly responsible for.
**Joint finances.** Address shared accounts now. Joint debts continue.
**Benefits.** SNAP, Minnesota Medicaid, childcare assistance through CCAP, energy assistance through LIHEAP and HEA. Minnesota winters make heating assistance worth applying for. Use what exists.
**Phone account.** Calls are free. GTL/ConnectNetwork handles the platform. No account to fund for calls. Commissary deposits go through the facility trust account process -- check mn.gov/doc for current deposit methods.
**The Stillwater situation.** If your person is at MCF-Stillwater, follow mn.gov/doc/facilities/stillwater for current closure and transfer information.
None of this is the romantic part of the relationship. All of it is the relationship.
For the Partner Inside: What You Cannot See
This section is for him.
The call is free. He has more phone access in Minnesota than in most other states in this series. Use it for connection and not logistics. Ask about her week before asking about his books. The 15-minute wait between calls is not a cost -- it is a fairness mechanism. Use each call like it matters because it does.
If he is at Stillwater and he knows transfer timeline information before she does: tell her. She is planning around a facility that is being phased out. She deserves to know what he knows when he knows it.
And be honest. The women who maintain real relationships through Minnesota sentences are almost always the ones who were told the truth.
When He Gets Out: The Part Nobody Wants to Say
The girlfriend who held onto the idea of him -- who took all the free calls and filled them with future-talk and hope -- is usually gone within the first month after release. The adjustment to ordinary Minnesota life, the job search with a record, the reentry challenges in a state with cold winters and specific economic pressures, the way he is different from what she remembered -- it is harder than the free calls suggested. Most of those relationships do not survive contact with Tuesday.
The woman who managed the Minnesota household alone, who drove to Faribault and Lino Lakes and Rush City and came back and came back again, who told the truth about the money and stayed when staying was the hardest thing -- she already knows who he is under pressure. She has no illusions left. That absence of illusion is what makes rebuilding possible.
Reentry in Minnesota is hard. Employment for people with felony records is limited. Minnesota winters add specific difficulty to reentry -- housing instability in a climate where housing matters more than in warmer states. Supervision conditions are real constraints.
The girlfriend is hoping for the relationship she imagined. The woman who wrote through thick and thin is working with the one that actually exists.
FAQ
**Are phone calls really free in Minnesota state prisons?** Yes. Phone calls from Minnesota DOC facilities are free for both incarcerated individuals and the people receiving calls. As of May 14, 2025, a 15-minute wait period between completed calls was added to ensure fair access. GTL/ConnectNetwork is the phone provider.
**How do I apply for visiting privileges in Minnesota?** As of August 4, 2025, all adult MN DOC facilities use an electronic visiting application. Submit at mndoc.formstack.com/forms/doc_visiting_privilege_application. Do not submit multiple applications -- doing so moves your request to the bottom of the processing list. You will receive a confirmation email. Paper applications are no longer accepted.
**What is happening with MCF-Stillwater?** MCF-Stillwater is undergoing a planned phased closure. Follow mn.gov/doc/facilities/stillwater for current updates on the closure timeline and any transfer information.
**Does Minnesota have conjugal visits?** No. Minnesota does not have conjugal visits at any state DOC facility.
**Can I visit if I am a victim of the person's offense?** No. Since 2016, Minnesota DOC has a complete visitation prohibition for anyone identified as a victim of an incarcerated person's active/current offense. Active protective orders or no-contact directives also prohibit visitation.
**Is it normal to think about leaving?** Yes. Almost every woman in this situation thinks about it at some point. The thought does not mean the relationship is over. It means you are carrying a heavy load and you are honest with yourself about it. If the thought comes with relief rather than grief, that is worth taking seriously.
**What happens to the relationship when he gets out?** Reentry in Minnesota is hard. Cold winters add specific difficulty to housing instability. Employment for felony records is limited. Supervision conditions are real. Relationships built on calls and visits and future-talk often do not survive contact with ordinary life. The ones that have the best chance are built on honesty about who both people are under pressure.