Inmates need hope. The hope of something better or different than the life that led them to the charges that sent them to prison. If you know what their interests are, you could introduce them to magazines and/or books that are mailed into the facility from the publisher. You could write them uplifting letters. Urge them to embrace optimistic thinking and focusing on how to re-invent themselves for a successful re-entry.

could be a similar name? or could be that they were moved? ...and the age thing is usually accurate since the data comes from the jails and prisons.

Don't let your imagination run away with you. Inmates sometimes pick a fight to see if you'll stay with them... because can't account for you on the outside, the fight is a test to see if you'll go on without them. He can't do anything about what you're doing. Sometimes his imagination might get the better of him.

You would know your husband better than we do. But, it's not easy to cheat from jail. If you suspect something, your instincts are usually right. Only time will tell.

Conjugal visits are rare these days and there are still a few state prisons that have them. Currently, only California, Connecticut, Mississippi, New Mexico, New York, and Washington allow conjugal visits.

All you can do is continue writing letters. Some inmates, especially newly incarcerated ones are affected by the harsh disconnection from society. They might be "in their feelings" and are not ready to communicate with people on the outside just yet.  If you are persistent, the letters will eventually make an impact and she will eventually respond.

This question gets asked a lot. The issue at hand is that the privacy of an inmate is the same for people on the outside. The ONLY way to find out who is visiting them or who they are calling is to ask the inmate themselves.  The BOP or any state DOC will not offer that information to anyone without the permission of the inmate

Yes, it is excruciating - almost like dying and watching your family go on without you. Your mind plays tricks on you and your self-talk is always questioning whether the wife is faithful. It creates stress, anxiety and fighting on the phone.

This is not unusual, in fact, this is the main problem with relationships in prison. The inmate has all day to create the worst possible scenarios in their brain about what is going on outside the walls. They don't have control of their situation and they have only their loved ones to take it out on. I used to tell people "i felt like i died and was forced to watch my family's life to go on without me". I

We all believe in second chances and in fact, InmateAid helps former inmates find great employment opportunities. It is our opinion that falling in love with someone in jail for murder is a slippery slope. First, there is the separation time that is the length of their sentence. Second, that time is not easy to do, waiting for someone to get out, dealing with the bad times (on the phone when he accuses you of cheating even if you're not).