Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
Related InmateAid Services
There could be circumstances where the phone might not be a privilege at the moment. You can always call the facility and ask to speak with the case manager or counselor, they will give you a straight answer why, if there is a reason or not.
Read moreInmates cannot receive phone calls. The only way is to write them and open up the first communication with them.
Read moreEvery inmate does their time differently. If he is staying silent now it is probably his defense mechanism. You are probably going to have to give him some time. Whatever happened that caused his incarceration, he is going through some emotional swings especially if this is recent. He will go through several stages before he is able to actually confront his demons. He might be blaming you (not your fault, don't let this upset you), but it is more
Read moreLOL, no way!! Are you kidding? There is a story every week about a CO going to prison for sex with an inmate. That is the lowest of the low. The CO has an inmate in a very compromising position, and they of power. To abuse that there isn't a sentence long enough for that kind of predator. The inmates LOVE an incarcerated former CO :)
Read moreNo, they can block you from visitation and they can refuse to call you or write but you can add all the money you care to.
Read moreThere is not much you can do except "ride or die". You have to keep yourself busy. You can stay comnnected through phone calls, letters, send sexy pictures, visit as often as you can. We hope his sentence isn't too long and that you guys can reunite soon
Read moreYes I did. I had a 96 month sentence and lost my wife at 19 months into the bid. Most women are not ride or die, not that I would expect them to wait because this crime was my doing, not hers. It killed me for a few months but I realized that life was not over and that I would get out someday. I worked on myself, my mind and when I was released I won her back :)
Read moreI've actually seen inmates have sex with their loved one in the visitation room of a federal prison camp. The security is not in your face and the visits are the best they can be, seated on picnic tables so getting close easy. If you risk doing so and get caught or someone snitches on your (like in this case), the visits will end forever and the inmate will spend months in the SHU before they transfer him to a higher
Read moreWe have heard of instances where this has happened, but when you hear about it, the guard has been indicted, arrested or imprisoned themselves. It happens but it's not the smartest idea for them to throw their life away for a quickie.
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