Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
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Subject: Relationship issues
Both matter, but if you are asking which one to prioritize when resources are limited, the answer is financial support, and here is the reasoning behind that.
Money on the books is tangible. It buys food from commissary that makes the daily reality of being locked up more bearable. It covers phone time so the connection between you stays alive. It pays for hygiene items that the facility provides at the bare minimum. Every dollar on that account is a concrete...
Read moreSubject: Relationship issues
The one-dollar filing fee claim is not something we can verify, and it is worth being skeptical of. Court filing fees vary by county and state, and while some jurisdictions have reduced or waived fees for indigent filers, a flat one-dollar fee for a divorce filing is not a standard we are familiar with. It is possible someone heard about a fee waiver program and the details got simplified in the retelling.
Here is what is actually available and worth exploring.
Inmates...
Read moreSubject: Relationship issues
That imbalance is telling you something, and your internal voice already knows what it is.
When you are on the outside holding everything together, staying loyal, managing the worry, keeping up with every detail of his situation, while he appears largely unconcerned with the details of your life, that is not just a communication gap. It is a relationship dynamic playing out in its most honest form. Incarceration strips away a lot of the performance that relationships can hide behind, and...
Read moreSubject: Relationship issues
You cannot get any information from the prison regarding an inmate's visiting list, phone list or who puts money on their books. The inmate's privacy is protected completely. If you suspect that this is still happening, it probably is.
Subject: Relationship issues
The uncertainty is understandable, but it should not be the thing that stops you from reaching out. A letter does not demand a response and it does not require the other person to feel a particular way before you send it. It is simply a message saying someone on the outside is thinking about them and wanted them to know they are okay in your thoughts.
That kind of outreach costs very little and means more than most people anticipate. Inmates...
Read moreSubject: Relationship issues
On the lying question, the honest answer is that incarceration does not create liars. It reveals them. Someone who lies to a faithful partner from inside a cell is someone who would lie on the outside too. The circumstances changed. The character did not.
That said, not every inmate is running a deception operation. Some people are genuinely doing their time, staying focused, and holding onto the relationship they have on the outside because it matters to them. Those inmates exist...
Read moreSubject: Relationship issues
Some do for sure. Depending on the amount of time in the sentence, the 19-month marker is about when the relationship breaks (my experience). Can it be repaired? Yes, it can but it'll take work and compromise on both parties.
Subject: Relationship issues
good question! smack him upside the head? but he's not listening and the only way to get his attention is to get out of the situation. If he's doing it when you're around he doesn't respect you enough to stop. Maybe he'll wake up if you walk.
Subject: Relationship issues
Absolutely not, there is zero interaction.
Subject: Relationship issues
The short answer is that it happens more often than it should, and the mechanics are not complicated when someone is willing to deceive people who trust them.
From inside a facility, an inmate can correspond with multiple people simultaneously. Letters, phone calls, and visits are not cross-referenced against each other. The person calling on Monday does not know who called on Tuesday. The woman sending money does not know about the woman sending letters. The facility has no interest in...
Read moreSubject: Relationship issues
It means he wants to look at you. That is a good thing, don't you think? InmateAid has a great service where you can take selfies (even a little sexy if you want just no nudity) and we turn them into beautiful 4" x 6" glossy photos and mail them for only $1.49.
Subject: Relationship issues
It's called "super-optimism", where criminal thinking always expects to achieve success in any scheme they hatch They plan meticulously, gather resources, and when it is time to go hot, they proceed with a maddening sense of optimism that for a moment they feel invisible and untouchable. There are no negative thoughts, therefore, they are not thinking about the consequences. In the end, it is blind optimism where everyone else pays for the gamble that didn't pay off.
Subject: Relationship issues
You're asking a former inmate how to stop another inmate from contacting your girlfriend?? First, we don't snitch and second, you don't sound strong enough to keep her. The inmate already won.
Subject: Relationship issues
You can't get that information from the prison. The inmates have a right to privacy and their visitation list, phone list, commissary contributors are kept confidential. If you know she has in the past, your suspicions are probably correct.
Subject: Relationship issues
we know that the inmates love getting mail. if your inmate is new to the system, they might not be totally settled or maybe they are in their feelings at the moment. We would recommend that you continue writing if you are able.
