Reviewed on: August 20,2016

My man is in jail and we have been through alot together but last time he was locked up his now exams wife screwed him over bad so he is afraid I am going to do the same thing. How do I make it easier for him and give him peace. I write to him I put money on phone and on his books I just don't know what eles to do I love him with all my heart and I feel terrible because he is in jail.

Asked: August 19,2016
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Without knowing the facts, we do know that inmates are pretty good at explaining things in a way that always make them the victim rather than the problem. You man has gone in more than once, this puts him in the category of someone that doesn't yet get it. Inmates do not get "screwed over" by their loved ones on the outside, more likely the inmate did something to make that jilted person cynical and vindictive because it is them that feels wronged. How do you feel about the crime that causes his incarceration? Do you wish that he would learn his lesson and not keep going back in? Right now, you are his lifeline to some comforts that he wouldn't have if you weren't adding money. Be careful, assess this situation by believing what you see with your eyes rather than what you are hearing from him. His actions are going to be to control you, question what you are doing, with whom... You are the only person in his life that he can do this to. If you see a clear path for a great future when he gets out, then continue - if you see something other than a humbler man willing to make some significant changes to his lifestyle, you will be in the never-ending maze of the inmate that never gets it.
Accepted Answer Date Created: August 20,2016