Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
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it does happen sometimes, you read about guards getting caught up in things with the inmates. once the affair is exposed, the offending guard is prosecuted and charged with a felony. Their punishment: the inmate gets a few months in the SHU but the prison guard ends up an inmate in prison themselves.
Read moreNot likely, however it does happen from time-to-time at institutions across the country. We post stories of women who have compromised the system by having an affair and then doing something that crossed the legal-line. Then they get arrested and become an inmate themselves.
Read moreyou can select any inmate to write from over 2 million people incarcerated.and in our database. select a name and click on Letter to Inmate and start writing :)
Read moreIt is more common than most people outside the system realize. Research on incarcerated populations consistently shows that consensual sexual activity between female inmates occurs at notably higher rates than in male facilities. Estimates vary, but studies have placed the rate of sexual contact among women in prison significantly higher than among men, with some research suggesting that a substantial majority of women in longer-term facilities have some sexual experience with another woman while incarcerated. The reasons are not
Read moreThere is no way to verify an inmate's commissary balance from the outside. You cannot log into their account, request a statement, or confirm any figures independently. Whatever they tell you about what they have or do not have on their books is something you have to take on faith, or not. Which brings up the more important point. If you are asking this question, something has already made you uncertain. That instinct is worth paying attention to.
Read moreThere are two types of men. Men that cheat and men that don't. If the relationship has run it's course as he headed into prison, being apart isn't going to make it better, even if you are loyal, send him money, spend time on the phone, go to visitation, do the little things that probably are rule-breakers to make him happy... But if the guy was loyal to you going in, he'll appreciate you even more when he gets out
Read moreYou can call the facility and ask them. They are not supposed to share anything about the inmate's actions inside the facility, including their cellie. If you get one that you can get to know (a counselor or unit secretary), you might talk them into giving little tidbits about the inmate, but it's a rule-breaker if they do. Most state prisons have 2-3 people per cell. If you get lucky enough not to have a roommate, then that wouldn't be
Read moreInmate's privacy is protected just like yours. You shouldn't be able to get any personal information. If you call his couselor and talk with a humble tone, you might get a little information out of them like the infraction-thing. The counselors want the inmates to succeed. If you are interested in his rehabiliation and take an interest, you might get a willing participant.
Read moreNot going to happen. There are only 3-4 state prisons that even offer conjugal visits anymore.
Read moreMaybe. Inmates are surviving their bid anyway they can. If their family disowns them as happens quite often, an inmate will turn to new companionship. Is it going last beyond the bid? Most times it will not. We are not clairvoyant so don't take these words as gospel. But what i've seen with my own eyes is that these deals don't end well for the girl that waited (in most cases)
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