Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
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You know the answer is the same answer it would be if the man you are living with wants to write a female inmate he used to mess with. That being said, we do not know how deep your feelings are/were and what your reason for writing truly is. If you just want to make them feel good and send them some things to read, maybe some pictures, then you know what you are doing... Keep us in the loop as
Read moreWe cannot say that all male inmates lie to their significant other because there are some men that still value the family and monogomy. That is two-way street by the way. Inmates are unable to control their life any longer, they cannot control their family situation in any way but on the phone, in writing or at visitation. That loss of control leads to paranoia. Their woman is out on the street, alone and no one is checking her. So,
Read moreNO, never. Imagine how that would work out...:/
Read moreWe have no way of knowing what the future holds if you ever see him again. Maybe you should seek some protective measures like moving across the county and starting over -separating yourself from the situation. It is not worth finding out that what your are afraid of could come to fruition you ever have that encounter. Please be careful.
Read moreWhat exactly are you asking? Will he hurt you emotionally or hurt you physically? If we are talking emotional like,is he going to leave me when he gets out? There is a lot I can share on this subject if you write back. You know this person better than anyone. What signs are even causing you to ask. If we are talking physical, then the advice would be to seek shelter with someone you can trust, try to find
Read moreThere is no way to find out. The inmate's privacy is maintained in the strictest of confidence. You cannot get a health update, find out who is visiting, who they are calling, writing or getting money from.
Read moreThe prison system never wants to get in the middle of the flow of mail from the US Postal Service. Inmate mail is considered sacred, the facility wants the inmates connected in some way to a loved one or more on the outside - postal mail is the most reliable and least expensive. They are more likely to be good inmates, quietly do their time and not come back. That is why they encourage and promote the flow of mail. Even
Read moreDo not stop trying. Letters and pictures are an easy and inexpensive way to keep the faith. Do it for the children for sure.
Read moreNo. The inmates are entitled to privacy in prison too. If you think he is calling someone, you know him better than anyone, he probably is.
Read morePushing people away during incarceration is more common than most people admit, and the reasons are usually understandable even when the outcome is painful. Shame, pride, a desire to protect loved ones from the reality of the situation, or simply the emotional difficulty of maintaining relationships under those circumstances can all create distance that feels permanent but often is not. A letter is the right first move for a reason. A phone call puts the other person on the
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