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Ask The Inmate - Relationship issues

Ask a former inmate questions at no charge. The inmate answering has spent considerable time in the federal prison system, state and county jails, and in a prison that was run by the private prison entity CCA.

Ask your question or browse previous questions in response to comments or further questions of members of the InmateAid community.

Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate

Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.

Subject: Relationship issues

Send him a sexy picture of yourself (no private parts showing) and tell him how you feel

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Subject: Relationship issues

No, the inmate is granted the same privacy that you ore on the outside. If you don't trust him, stop paying for stuff

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Subject: Relationship issues

If you are thinking this, then you already know the answer from past experience. It's too much of a generalization to say "most inmates lie to their loved ones", but I've seen inmates be complete dogs to their wives behind their back. Some wives are blindly paying for their commissary, phone, and email. You know your husband better than anyone... if you are suspecting something, you know the deal already. If you want to keep paying but limit the calls

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Subject: Relationship issues

Not through any channel other than your inmate's truthfulness... but if you are asking you probably know the answer

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Subject: Relationship issues

  No me rendiría tan rápido. Pruebe con otra carta (tal vez a través de nuestro sitio) y vea qué sucede. Los reclusos entienden sus sentimientos fácilmente, es posible que deba ser más persistente de lo habitual

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Subject: Relationship issues

It does happen from time to time, more than you'd think. You will see articles in the news where they expose female guards having sex with inmates. These guards quickly become inmates themselves in the end.

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Subject: Relationship issues

only if they want to

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Subject: Relationship issues

let me ask my fiance for permission ;)

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Subject: Relationship issues

halfway houses are the only place that it could happen. in prison or jail there is no way for them to hook up unless you pay the guards to arrange it for you.

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Subject: Relationship issues

yes and yes :)... but seriously, there are not many facilities that allow conjugal visits anymore. phone sex sounds great, but it's frustrating because you don't have much privacy at the phone bank... try a sexy letter and selfies  

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