Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
Related InmateAid Services
He doesn't want to see you. Try sending a letter and find out why.
Read moreYour inmate might be deep in his feelings. He's looking an amount of time that is making him think that the future with you is limited, that you might leave him anyway. Give it some time (as he suggests) and then try again in a few weeks, maybe send him a magazine subscription that would have him thinking about "who sent it" every time he gets an issue?
Read moreNo one can see who they are calling, visiting, texting or receiving money or mail from, they are provided with the same privacy on the inside as you are on the outside
Read moreInmates go through a period of despair upon being incarcerated. Their wave of emotions spans from sadness to anger, to blaming others before reality hits them in the face that they are locked up because of actions taken by themselves. Keep in touch for a while longer and see if things improve. Our take is that they will improve and ultimately the kindness you've shown will pay dividends in their behavior later in their sentence.
Read moreCome on!! Are you serious?!?! You sound pathetic. If you are worried that your inmate is cheating on you while in prison, you need to discontinue all contact and move on with your life. If your imagination has your inmate having sex with the staff, you are mistaken. If a staff member has sex with an inmate, they become the prisoner (for about 5-8 years, it's called rape when sex with an inmate is involved).
Read moreIf you want to divorce your inmate/spouse, being locked up for ten years is enough of a reason that a judge will not get in the way
Read moreprobably not and if the domestic violence charge is about you, you might take this opportunity to run for the hills. there are plenty of men out there that will not do this to you. take your freedom back!
Read moreQuestions about who else is supporting someone on the inside are natural, especially when you are one of the people investing time, emotion, and money into helping them through their sentence. Incarceration strains every relationship surrounding it, including marriages. Some spouses show up fully and consistently. Others disappear. Many fall somewhere in between, present in some ways and absent in others. There is no single pattern, and what an inmate tells you about their marriage may or may not
Read moreMoral support cant buy snacks at the commissary. So, my choice would be the financial support (within reason) because that says a lot more than a moral support speech and by its very nature shows "moral support" at the same time.
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