Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
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"patience" is my advice. and, you have to be empathetic to their situation of what their mental state is, getting adjusted is not easy. give it some time, send a nice pic and a nice long letter again. be persistent and keep trying if it's what you want
Read moreyou cannot get that information, he has a complete right of privacy. he can, however, request a copy and could share it with you if you are interested in a reaction
Read morewrite them and see what happens... if you do nothing, you'll always wonder and in turn, you'll never give the inmate a chance to prove you're right/wrong
Read moregood question! probably because someone is letting them get away with it
Read moreas an inmate, she is going to gravitate to the people on the outside that can and WILL help her. inmates are manipulative like that. if you are hellbent on keeping her, then put some money in her commissary, buy her some reading material and write her some nice letters reminding her of the good times. Just keep in mind that she might have 2-3 guys keeping her account full, too.
Read moreyou have to be creative and willing to go the extra effort to make sure it stays healthy. You can write sexy letters and talk about the future. You can talk to the kids and make your husband's incarceration a journey with some excitement then they get to visit him. it's not going to be easy, it is easy to quit altogether but it sounds like you want to keep things together... we wish you the best
Read moreThis is not unusual, in fact, this is the main problem with relationships in prison. The inmate has all day to create the worst possible scenarios in their brain about what is going on outside the walls. They don't have control of their situation and they have only their loved ones to take it out on. I used to tell people "i felt like i died and was forced to watch my family's life to go on without me". I
Read moreWe all believe in second chances and in fact, InmateAid helps former inmates find great employment opportunities. It is our opinion that falling in love with someone in jail for murder is a slippery slope. First, there is the separation time that is the length of their sentence. Second, that time is not easy to do, waiting for someone to get out, dealing with the bad times (on the phone when he accuses you of cheating even if you're not).
Read moreThere is nothing to know. If a guard "gets with an inmate" it is RAPE, pure and simple. The guard becomes an inmate (for at least 5 years), so don't let your imagination get the best of you. Can it happen? Yes. Does it happen? Very rarely because the penalty is stiffer on the guard.
Read moreYes, this is a normal, typical experience that most women go through in riding out a sentence with an inmate you love. They have nothing but time to think about all the possibilities that are happening on the outside. Inmates create a "science fiction novel" in their head and dump all that on you, either on the phone or at the visitation. There is nothing you can do but maintain your innocence. This is the kind of thing that makes
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