Why Did My Incarcerated Father Stop All Contact With Me

As a father who has been through incarceration myself, I can tell you that willingly cutting off contact with your child is almost unthinkable from the inside. I spent every day of my sentence doing everything I could to stay connected to my children. I was terrified they would forget me. Every letter, every call, every photograph I could send was an act of holding on. Contact with the outside world is hope for the future and for an incarcerated parent that hope is everything.

So the honest answer to your question is that most fathers would not choose this. Which means something else is probably happening.

There are circumstances inside a facility that can make contact temporarily or even permanently impossible without the inmate choosing it. A transfer to a new facility where phone lists need to be rebuilt from scratch. A stay in the Special Housing Unit where communication is severely restricted. No money on the phone account with no way to let anyone outside know. A medical situation. A disciplinary matter that suspended privileges. Even something as simple as losing the phone number during a transfer and having no way to get it back.

Before concluding that he chose silence consider that he may be in one of these situations right now with no way to reach out and no way to explain why.

My suggestion is to try one more time. Send a letter to the facility addressed to him directly. A letter costs almost nothing and requires nothing from him to receive it. If he is in a situation where calling is impossible he can still receive mail in most circumstances. Let him know you are still there and that the door is open.

If you need help locating which facility he is currently at or sending a letter InmateAid can help with both.

I feel terribly for both of you. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.