Will My Inmate Forgive Me for Leaving Twice and Coming Back?
I left my inmate twice for personal reasons. I want to make amends and try to be there for him still, even after 5 years of being gone. Will he forgive me?
There is no way to know without asking, and the only way to ask is to reach out.
Five years is a long time in either direction. It is long enough for real hurt to have settled in, and it is also long enough for perspective to develop in ways that are hard to predict from the outside. People in long sentences do a lot of thinking, and that thinking does not always land where you might expect. Some people hold onto resentment. Others reach a place of acceptance and even gratitude for whatever the relationship gave them, even if it ended painfully.
What you cannot do is resolve this question from a distance. Wondering whether he will forgive you without reaching out is a way of protecting yourself from an answer you are afraid to receive. The only honest path is a letter.
A letter is the right first move for a few reasons. It gives him time to process what he is reading before he responds. It does not put him on the spot the way a phone call would. And it gives you the space to say what you actually mean without the pressure of real-time conversation. Write honestly. Acknowledge what happened, acknowledge that you left twice, and tell him what you want now without demanding anything back from him.
If you are not ready to share your address, InmateAid's letter service sends everything with their return address in Florida. Your location stays private until you are ready to share it, and if he wants to respond, he can write back through the same channel.
Send the letter. The answer, whatever it is, is better than the uncertainty you are carrying right now.
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Our advisors answer within 24 hours. Free, always. Former federal and state inmates with direct experience.