Marriage and Relationships During Incarceration in South Dakota

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Internal links (5): South Dakota inmate search, send money, visitation guide (SD DOC), Staying Connected hub, South Dakota reentry resources

Voice: Formerly-incarcerated experience, not expert advice. Real. No fluff. Honest about doubt.

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Relationships During Incarceration in South Dakota | InmateAid

South Dakota is a large state with a small population -- about 900,000 people, most of them in the eastern corridor. Sioux Falls is the largest city, in the southeast. Rapid City is the second largest, in the west near the Black Hills. Pierre is the capital, in the center.

The South Dakota State Penitentiary is in Sioux Falls. Mike Durfee State Prison is in Springfield, about 90 miles southwest of Sioux Falls near the Nebraska border. The South Dakota Women's Prison -- the only women's facility in the state -- is in Pierre.

For a family in Rapid City with a partner at the South Dakota State Penitentiary in Sioux Falls: 350 miles east on I-90, about 5 hours each way. For a woman from Rapid City with a partner at the South Dakota Women's Prison in Pierre: about 180 miles east on I-90, roughly 3 hours. For a family in Sioux Falls with a partner at Mike Durfee in Springfield: 90 miles southwest on US-81, about an hour and a half.

The distances in South Dakota are not the most extreme in this series -- Montana and Alaska have that distinction. But for a state with only two major men's facilities and one women's facility, the geography concentrates the hardship in specific ways that depend on where the family is.

South Dakota does not have conjugal visits. Phone service is through GTL/ConnectNetwork. No incoming calls to offenders.

There are no experts here. We have experience. You measure your situation against ours and decide what is true for you.

The Wife and the Girlfriend Are Not the Same Person

It happens in South Dakota visiting rooms the same way it happens everywhere else -- at the South Dakota State Penitentiary in northern Sioux Falls, at Mike Durfee State Prison on the former university campus in Springfield, at the South Dakota Women's Prison in Pierre.

Some of the men inside are running two tracks. There is the woman who knows the real situation and the woman who knows the version he performs. In South Dakota, where the communities are small and spread across a large state, both tracks often come from the same city or region. Sioux Falls is not a large city. Rapid City is smaller. The visiting community at SDSP is not anonymous.

The one who knows the real situation is talking about the now. She is managing a South Dakota household -- in Sioux Falls, in Rapid City, in Aberdeen, in Watertown, in one of the smaller cities or the rural communities of the Great Plains -- and she is doing it without another adult. South Dakota has specific economic pressures: a low-wage service economy in many communities, a tourism-dependent economy in the Black Hills region, and rural communities that have faced decades of population decline. She has this week and what this week costs.

The other one is talking about the future. She is holding onto a version of the relationship that has not been tested by ordinary South Dakota life.

He treats them differently. With the one who knows everything he is more transactional, more likely to bring up what he needs before asking how she is. With the other one he is more careful, still performing.

Some women reading this are the one who knows everything. Some are the other one. Some are finding out right now which one they are.

If you are not sure: does he know what is actually happening in your week, or does he only know what he needs from it? Are you the person he calls when something is good, or only when something is needed? Have you ever met anyone in his life who knew about you?

The answers are not comfortable. But they are information.

The Commissary Conversation

The phone call in South Dakota goes through GTL/ViaPath (ConnectNetwork). Offenders must submit a request to add phone numbers to their approved list. VoIP numbers are not permitted on the approved list -- only numbers verified as assigned to a contract or pre-paid plan and device. No incoming calls. Family deposits funds through ConnectNetwork directly to the offender's phone account; those funds can only be used for phone or tablet purchases and cannot be transferred to another account. Video visitation at sddoc.gtlvisitme.com. ConnectNetwork customer support: 1-877-650-4249.

He is dependent. He cannot buy his own hygiene products or extra food or make his own calls without account funds. That dependency produces need that comes through the GTL call as asking and sometimes as pressure.

You are managing a South Dakota household. Sioux Falls and Rapid City have their own cost structures. The smaller cities and rural communities of the Plains have their own pressures. Whatever the local reality, the bills do not pause.

Women ask about this on InmateAid's Ask the Inmate section more than almost any other relationship question. Whether he is using the GTL account she funds to call other women. Whether the money she sends is going where he says. Whether the need is about love or about logistics. The wondering sits underneath every call and does not go away until someone names it out loud.

Set a sustainable monthly number. Communicate it. Hold it. Consistency matters more than any single large deposit.

The A&O Period: When You Do Not Know Where He Will End Up

When a man is sentenced and enters the South Dakota DOC, he goes through Admissions and Orientation (A&O) at the Jameson Annex of the South Dakota State Penitentiary in Sioux Falls. When a woman is sentenced, she goes through A&O at the South Dakota Women's Prison in Pierre. A&O takes approximately 20 days.

During A&O, offenders receive an Inmate Living Guide covering classification, rules, visiting, mail, commissary, and finances. They also receive an Individual Program Directive (IPD) outlining what is expected of them based on their time to serve, classification, and program needs.

For the woman on the outside: the A&O period is approximately 20 days of uncertainty about where he will be assigned after classification. He will be assigned to SDSP (Sioux Falls, Level IV maximum security), Mike Durfee (Springfield, Level III medium custody), or one of the minimum centers in Sioux Falls, Yankton, Pierre, or Rapid City. She does not control the assignment.

Write during A&O. Fund the ConnectNetwork account. Prepare for a facility assignment that may require more travel than the initial placement.

The Only Women's Prison Is in Pierre

For women sentenced in South Dakota, there is one facility: the South Dakota Women's Prison in Pierre. Pierre is the capital and the geographic center of the state, but it is not where most South Dakota families live. Sioux Falls is 180 miles east. Rapid City is about 210 miles west. Aberdeen is about 180 miles north.

The SDWP is a Level V facility. Capacity 452. It houses women of all security levels from minimum to maximum. It offers mother-infant programming -- a specific program that allows qualifying incarcerated mothers to keep infants with them in a dedicated unit -- and treatment for meth addiction, which has been a significant factor in women's incarceration in South Dakota.

For a woman's family in Sioux Falls visiting her at SDWP in Pierre: 180 miles each way, about 3 hours. For a family in Rapid City: 210 miles each way, about 3 hours. The distances are manageable for a weekend trip but require planning, particularly for families with limited transportation or childcare.

The husband or partner on the outside managing a household and children while she is in Pierre has the same weight as the woman doing it in reverse. The series is written primarily for the woman at home, but the weight does not sort by gender.

What She Is Carrying That He Cannot See

When he went in, she absorbed everything he used to do. Every decision. Every bill. Every school meeting and sick kid and broken furnace in a South Dakota February and form that needs a signature. Every night the house is quiet in a way that is not peace.

South Dakota's communities are small and the Great Plains culture tends toward self-reliance and privacy. When the news is bad, some people do not know what to say rather than choosing not to say anything -- but the effect can be the same. The social world adjusts and what is left is her, managing children who are watching her to understand how they are supposed to feel about all of this.

For families in Rapid City with partners at SDSP: the 350-mile drive to Sioux Falls on I-90 is 5 hours each way through the rolling grasslands and the Missouri River breaks and the eastern plains. It is a full day of travel for a weekend visit. The visit itself is 2-4 hours. The drive back is 5 more hours. The family in Rapid City cannot visit and be home for Sunday dinner.

The person inside experiences deprivation. What he often cannot see is that she is deprived too -- not of freedom but of partnership, of another adult, of someone to hand the weight to at the end of the day. The resentment that grows from that gap is real. It is not a sign the relationship is wrong. It is a sign both of them are under a pressure most couples never face.

The Doubt Is Normal

At some point, most women in this situation think about leaving.

Maybe it was the GTL call that turned into a fight about commissary. Maybe it was the 5-hour drive to Sioux Falls from Rapid City on I-90 in November when the weather closed in and she turned around halfway. Maybe it was 20 days of A&O uncertainty not knowing where he would end up. Maybe it was just a South Dakota January when the wind chill was minus thirty and the heating bill was where it was and there was nobody to call.

The thought is not betrayal. It is what happens when a person carries more than they were built to carry alone.

Some women leave. Some should. The sentence can reveal things about the relationship that were already true. Leaving is not failure.

Some women stay and build something. Not the relationship they had before. Something different. Something tested in a way most couples never are. The ones who build something stopped pretending and had the real conversations.

We are not going to tell you to stay or go. We will tell you that the doubt is not proof the relationship is wrong. It is proof that you are paying attention.

The Social Isolation Nobody Warns You About

South Dakota's communities are small and spread across a large state. In Sioux Falls, there is some degree of urban anonymity. In Rapid City, less. In the smaller cities and the rural communities, almost none. When the news is bad, the news travels.

South Dakota does not have an extensive infrastructure for families of incarcerated people. The SDDOC Family & Friends page at doc.sd.gov/adult-corrections/visitors is the primary resource. Community organizations in Sioux Falls and Rapid City provide some support. The South Dakota network of faith communities is often the practical support system for rural families.

If you can find one person who can hold your reality without judgment, find them and let them in.

Visiting in South Dakota: Schedule in Advance, Drive Plan Required

South Dakota does not have conjugal visits. No private time at any SDDOC facility.

**Facilities:**

- South Dakota State Penitentiary (SDSP, men's, Level IV max security): 1600 North Drive, Sioux Falls, SD 57104; 605-367-5051. Established 1881.

- Jameson Annex (men's A&O and housing, adjacent to SDSP): 1600 North Drive, PO Box 5911, Sioux Falls, SD 57117; 605-367-5120.

- Mike Durfee State Prison (MDSP, men's, Level III medium): 1412 Wood Street, Springfield, SD 57062; 605-369-2201. Former USD/Springfield campus. Also supervises Minimum Centers in Yankton and Rapid City.

- South Dakota Women's Prison (SDWP, women's, Level V, all security levels): 3200 East Highway 34, c/o 500 East Capitol Avenue, Pierre, SD 57501; 605-773-6636. Mother-infant programming.

- Rapid City Community Work Center (men's minimum): 2725 Creek Drive, Rapid City, SD 57703; 605-394-5294.

- Yankton Community Center (men's minimum): 178 Mickelson Drive, Yankton, SD 57078; 605-668-3355.

- Sioux Falls and Pierre Minimum Centers also exist.

**Visiting general:**

- All visits must be scheduled in advance.

- Subject to approval by SDDOC administration.

- Visitors must present valid photo ID. All belongings searched before entry.

- Dress code enforced; no clothing resembling offender or law enforcement attire.

- Check each facility's specific visiting hours -- first-come, first-served at some facilities; may be cut short due to facility restrictions.

**Video visitation:** sddoc.gtlvisitme.com. GTL scheduling system.

**Phone:**

- GTL/ViaPath (ConnectNetwork). No incoming calls. Offender submits request to add numbers. VoIP numbers not permitted. Funds deposited to phone account (ConnectNetwork) cannot be transferred.

- ConnectNetwork customer support: 1-877-650-4249.

- Video visitation: sddoc.gtlvisitme.com.

**SDDOC HQ**: 3200 East Highway 34, c/o 500 E. Capitol Ave, Pierre, SD 57501; doc.sd.gov.

The Practical Layer: What Needs to Happen

When a partner is incarcerated in South Dakota, the practical tasks land on the person outside.

**Power of attorney.** Any legal or financial matter requiring his signature needs power of attorney. SDDOC facilities have notary services. LawDepot offers templates. Do this early.

**South Dakota marital property.** South Dakota is an equitable distribution state, not community property. Marital assets divided fairly but not necessarily equally. Understand what you are jointly responsible for.

**Joint finances.** Address shared accounts now. Joint debts continue.

**Benefits.** SNAP, South Dakota Medicaid (South Dakota Medicaid), childcare assistance through CCAP, energy assistance through LIEAP. Use what exists.

**ConnectNetwork account.** Set up at connectnetwork.com. Funds go to phone/tablet account only -- not transferable to commissary or other accounts. 1-877-650-4249 for customer support. Ensure your phone number is on a verified contract or pre-paid plan (not VoIP).

**The facility assignment.** During A&O (approximately 20 days at Jameson Annex for men, SDWP Pierre for women), he is being classified. Do not assume the long-term facility will be the A&O location. When assignment is made, recalculate the drive, the visiting days and hours, and the travel budget.

**The I-90 drive.** If you are in Rapid City and he is at SDSP in Sioux Falls: plan for a full day or an overnight trip. 350 miles is 5 hours in good conditions. November through March on I-90 in South Dakota requires road condition monitoring. The South Dakota DOT road report is at 511.sd.gov.

**Mother-infant program.** If your partner is a woman at SDWP Pierre and qualifies for the mother-infant program, contact SDWP at 605-773-6636. The program allows qualifying incarcerated mothers to keep infants in a dedicated unit. Know this option exists.

None of this is the romantic part of the relationship. All of it is the relationship.

For the Partner Inside: What You Cannot See

This section is for him.

The A&O period is approximately 20 days. During that time, she does not know where he will end up. She is planning around information she does not have. When the facility assignment is made: communicate it to her as quickly as the system allows.

The GTL call costs money. Use it for connection. Ask about her week before asking about his books. The ConnectNetwork funds she deposits go to phone and tablet only -- they cannot be transferred. If the account is funded, use it for the relationship.

And the long-distance parenting program at Mike Durfee State Prison, if he is at MDSP: it exists specifically to encourage parent-child involvement. Use it.

When He Gets Out: The Part Nobody Wants to Say

The girlfriend who held onto the idea of him -- who made the drive to Sioux Falls from Rapid City twice a year and filled the GTL calls with future-talk and hope -- is usually gone within the first month after release. The adjustment to ordinary South Dakota life, the job search with a record in a state with specific employment pressures, the way he is different from what she remembered -- it is harder than the visits suggested. Most of those relationships do not survive contact with Tuesday.

The woman who managed the South Dakota household alone, who drove I-90 and came back and came back again, who navigated the A&O uncertainty and still showed up at whatever facility the classification assigned, who told the truth about the money and stayed when staying was the hardest thing -- she already knows who he is under pressure. She has no illusions left. That absence of illusion is what makes rebuilding possible.

Reentry in South Dakota is hard. The state's economy has specific pressures for felony records. Rural communities have very limited pathways. The Black Hills tourism economy is seasonal. Supervision conditions under parole are real constraints.

The girlfriend is hoping for the relationship she imagined. The woman who wrote through thick and thin is working with the one that actually exists.

FAQ

**Where are South Dakota state prisons located?** The South Dakota State Penitentiary (maximum security, men's) and Jameson Annex are in Sioux Falls. Mike Durfee State Prison (medium security, men's) is in Springfield, about 90 miles southwest of Sioux Falls near the Nebraska border. The South Dakota Women's Prison (all security levels, women's only) is in Pierre, the state capital. Minimum centers are in Sioux Falls, Yankton, Pierre, and Rapid City.

**How far is the drive to SDSP from Rapid City?** About 350 miles east on I-90, approximately 5 hours each way in good conditions. A visit from Rapid City to SDSP is a full-day or overnight commitment. Check road conditions at 511.sd.gov before winter travel.

**Does South Dakota have conjugal visits?** No. South Dakota does not have conjugal visits at any SDDOC facility.

**How do phone calls work in South Dakota?** GTL/ViaPath (ConnectNetwork) provides phone service. No incoming calls to offenders. He must submit a request to add your number to his approved list. VoIP numbers not permitted. Deposit funds at connectnetwork.com -- note that funds deposited to the phone account cannot be transferred to other accounts. Customer support: 1-877-650-4249.

**What is the A&O period?** Admissions and Orientation. Men go through A&O at the Jameson Annex (Sioux Falls) for approximately 20 days after sentencing. Women go through A&O at the South Dakota Women's Prison in Pierre. During A&O, classification determines the long-term facility assignment. He receives an Inmate Living Guide covering visiting, mail, commissary, and rules.

**Is it normal to think about leaving?** Yes. Almost every woman in this situation thinks about it at some point. The thought does not mean the relationship is over. In South Dakota, the distances and the A&O uncertainty add specific layers to what is already a heavy load. If the thought comes with relief rather than grief, that is worth taking seriously.

**What happens to the relationship when he gets out?** Reentry in South Dakota is hard. The economy has specific pressures for felony records. Rural communities have limited pathways. Seasonal tourism in the Black Hills is not stable employment. Parole supervision is a real constraint. Relationships built on calls and long drives and future-talk often do not survive contact with ordinary life. The ones that have the best chance are built on honesty about who both people are under pressure.

[SPEC NOTE: Folder 16R8MTFxsOtqCIV4-WZb9Ys4mX8tc7YRR. Internal CTAs: South Dakota inmate search, send money, visitation guide SD DOC, Staying Connected hub, South Dakota reentry resources. SOURCING: doc.sd.gov/adult-corrections/visitors (preferred communication method voicemail leave detailed message; email include name phone number offender name DOC ID; offenders must submit request to have phone number added to approved list; phone numbers must be verified as assigned to contract or pre-paid plan and device; VoIP not permitted; family deposits ConnectNetwork; funds only for phone or tablet cannot transfer; ConnectNetwork customer support 1-877-650-4249; offenders not able to receive incoming calls); doc.sd.gov/adult-corrections (male A&O at Jameson Annex SDSP; female A&O at South Dakota Women's Prison; A&O approximately 20 days; Inmate Living Guide covering classification/rules/visiting/mail/counts/commissary/finances; Individual Program Directive IPD; also contracts with St Francis House Sioux Falls Cornerstone Rescue Mission Rapid City Hughes County Jail Pierre); doc.sd.gov/adult-corrections/facilities (minimum centers Sioux Falls Yankton Pierre Rapid City Level II; MDSP Springfield Level III; SDSP Level IV; SDWP Level V; minimum restrictive and minimum Level II; close medium lower classification Level III; work release only Level II); doc.sd.gov/adult-corrections/facilities/mike-durfee-state-prison (MDSP 1412 Wood Street Springfield SD 57062 605-369-2201; Level III medium custody; former USD Springfield campus closed 1984 by legislature; opened December 1984 female offenders then male January 1985; co-ed until SDWP opened Pierre 1997; renamed Mike Durfee September 10 1999; also supervises Yankton and Rapid City Minimum Centers; Governor's House Program; long-distance parenting program; vocational auto body horticulture auto repair welding; capacity 1240); inmateaid.com SDSP (1600 North Dr Sioux Falls SD 57104 605-367-5051; Level IV historical 1881 territorial prison 1889 SDSP; three housing units main Level IV; Jameson Annex 1993 extension; A&O at Jameson; outbound calls only no incoming); southdakotacourtrecords.us (SDWP 3200 East Highway 34 c/o 500 East Capitol Ave Pierre SD 57501 605-773-6636 Level V capacity 452 mother-infant programming meth addiction treatment opened 1997; Jameson Annex 1600 North Drive PO Box 5911 Sioux Falls 57117 605-367-5120; Rapid City CWC 2725 Creek Drive Rapid City 57703 605-394-5294; Yankton CC 178 Mickelson Drive Yankton 57078 605-668-3355; eight state-owned facilities minimum to max Level I-V); connectnetwork.com SDDOC (AdvancePay Phone Pin Debit visitation scheduling video visitation; sddoc.gtlvisitme.com); Wikipedia SDDOC (Tim Reisch Secretary; Sioux Falls Rapid City Yankton MDSP SDWP Jameson Annex Rapid City Minimum Yankton Minimum); prisonpro.com MDSP (capacity 1240 disciplinary segregation unit; long distance parenting program; vocational educational programs); southdakotaprisonroster SDSP (visits scheduled in advance subject to approval; valid photo ID; belongings searched; dress code; arrive early first-come first-served may be cut short); no conjugal visits South Dakota (to verify); South Dakota equitable distribution not community property; SDDOC HQ 3200 East Hwy 34 c/o 500 E Capitol Ave Pierre SD 57501; doc.sd.gov. NOTE for Poorwa: verify no conjugal visits South Dakota per doc.sd.gov; verify GTL/ConnectNetwork still phone provider; verify 1-877-650-4249 ConnectNetwork customer support current; verify sddoc.gtlvisitme.com video visitation current; verify VoIP numbers not permitted current; verify funds not transferable from phone account current; verify A&O Jameson Annex men SDWP women approximately 20 days current; verify SDSP 605-367-5051 current; verify MDSP 605-369-2201 Springfield current; verify SDWP 605-773-6636 Pierre current; verify Rapid City CWC 605-394-5294 current; verify Yankton CC 605-668-3355 current; verify mother-infant program SDWP current; verify long-distance parenting program MDSP current; verify South Dakota equitable distribution; len/character check before publish.]