Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
Related InmateAid Services
The only way you'll know is if your inmate tells you. You cannot get a copy of or information regarding to any of the inmate's visiting list, call list, commissary spend, or people that send your inmate money or mail. Believe it or not, inmates have a right to privacy just like you.
Read moreNot going to happen. The inmate is entitled to full privacy - their visitation list, call list, commissary money whereabouts, and what was spent are fully protected.
Read moreUnfortunately, you already know the answer to this one. Your loved one is still using and no matter how they appear most of the time, those unexplained absences are explained when he violates (as a result of a UI or other tests). The only person that can change is the person using - they have to want to change or nothing will change.
Read moreIf you are asking how to get an inmate to take a paternity test. We assume you're asking because they won't do it voluntarily - you will have to get a court order that compels the facility to release the results of the DNA test for that person, that is done on all inmates.
Read moreThere is not much you can do about your suspicion except ask your GF. There are no guards that will violate the rules and communicate what transpires inside the prison. If you know another inmate, maybe they can help you. But if you suspect something, it probably is happening. We wish you the best.
Read moreThey BOTH wish!!! Hell no, it's all segregated by sex or there'd be a lot of prison babies :)
Read moreNo, unfortunately, there are very few prisons that allow for conjugal visits anymore.
Read moreYou know this question could be answered either way. "Yes, he might be", or "no he really cares". Let's assume he likes talking with you and seeing you at the visitation. He likes that you are showing him attention. There is a chance that this relationship can grow beyond where it would have if he was out. Maybe you get to know each other better and he becomes more into you. Life is too short, you have to let this play
Read moreSometimes the CO that is requesting him to visitation will tell them who is there to visit (especially if he asks). If he doesn't want to visit, maybe you should write to him first to smooth things out before you visit.
Read moreInteresting question. When I went into federal prison, I was also 46 and was looking at 8 years. I'd never been locked up before and I was very depressed. The first couple of months were the hardest. To me, prison is like the movie Groundhog Day, where every day you wake up and it's the same as the day before. You have to figure out how to get into a routine so that the days will pass. My wife visited me as
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