Family Services — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration affects every member of a family not just the person behind bars. Children, spouses, parents, and siblings all navigate their own version of the experience often without support or guidance. This section covers the full range of challenges families face including maintaining relationships through letters and calls, explaining incarceration to children, managing finances on a reduced income, navigating the visitation process, supporting a loved one through the emotional difficulty of incarceration, and preparing for reentry together. The questions answered here come from real families in real situations, parents who have not heard from their son in weeks, spouses managing alone, children trying to understand where their parent went. InmateAid was built by someone who experienced both sides of this equation and the guidance here reflects that understanding. Families are not bystanders in this process. They are essential to their loved one's success both inside and after release. See also our sections on Visitation, Relationship Issues, and Send Inmate Mail.
Related InmateAid Services
Yes, it is possible to get a divorce while incarcerated, but it takes more coordination because you cannot handle things in person like someone on the outside. The process usually starts by filing in the county where your spouse lives. If you and your spouse are on the same page and agree to the divorce terms, called an uncontested divorce, the process is much smoother and can move faster. If there are disagreements about property, custody, or support, it
Read moreWhether there is a play area for kids during visits depends on the facility and its security level. Lower security facilities (like camps or some low-security prisons): Often have a more relaxed visitation setting May include a small play area, toys, or space for children Visits can feel more family-friendly Higher security prisons and most jails: Much more controlled environment Kids are usually expected to stay seated with the visiting adult Toys, strollers, and movement may
Read moreDo not bring legal paperwork to a visitation without confirming the facility's policy first. Many facilities prohibit any documents from being passed between visitors and inmates during visitation, regardless of the purpose or content. Attempting to have papers signed during a visit without prior approval can result in the visit being terminated and potentially affect future visitation privileges. The right first step is to call Clay County Detention Center and speak with your boyfriend's counselor or case manager before
Read moreYou are actually communicating with "former inmates" who are trained to give accurate, forthright and first hand accounts of all things incarceration-related topics.
Read moreAn inmate can pursue a divorce while incarcerated, but the legal process happens outside the facility. The jail itself is not involved in the divorce proceedings beyond accommodating attorney visits. Your boyfriend will need a divorce attorney to handle the case. The attorney files the divorce petition, arranges to visit the facility to have documents reviewed and signed, and manages the service of process on his spouse. Attorneys are familiar with jail visitation protocols for legal visits and can
Read moreYou will have to contact the facility chaplain to get that approved first, for entry into the facility
Read moreThe best way to get through with an emergency is the inmate's counselor, their case manager or in extreme cases the chaplain.
Read moreThis situation has several serious legal issues layered on top of each other, and you have more options than it may feel like right now. Here is where to focus. The recanting accuser is significant. If the person who accused your husband has admitted to lying, that is potentially powerful grounds for post-conviction relief. This needs to be in front of an attorney or an innocence organization as soon as possible. The Innocence Project and state-level innocence organizations take
Read moreInmateAid was built specifically to support families and loved ones of incarcerated people across every stage of the process. Here is a rundown of what is available. Letters and photos. Write a letter through InmateAid and we print it, add any photos you want to include, and mail it directly to the facility. Your inmate receives it at mail call like any other piece of mail. If your inmate writes back to our return address, we scan it and
Read moreThe most direct way to reach the chaplain at California Institution for Men is to call the facility at 909-597-1821 and ask to be connected to the chaplain's office. When you get through, explain your situation clearly and ask for their guidance. Chaplains at correctional facilities are generally among the most accessible and helpful staff members for families on the outside. They operate somewhat independently from the administrative chain of command and can often facilitate welfare checks, pass along
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