Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
Related InmateAid Services
you are welcome!! good luck :)
Read moreno, inmates are entitled to privacy too
Read moreBeing in a relationship with someone you can't actually BE in a relationship with is a maddening process that rarely makes it through the bid if it's more than a few years. The inmate has a vivid imagination of what you are (might) doing while he's locked up (even if you haven't even been tempted). That makes him unjustly angry. You're picturing other women communicating with him, even visiting. The trust between you deteriorates becasue of the lack of real
Read moreStrange that he won't tell you a date to pick him up... Call the counselor or the case manager, see if they will share that information with you. If you don't know a date, and he won't tell you... maybe he has other arrangements??
Read moreYou know your guy better than most, use your intuition. If he is a player on the streets he gonna try and be a player from inside, too. Most jail term relationships fall apart when they are released, not while they are in custody. But you already know who he is and that should help you with your decision.
Read moreIf she has a warrant and enters a detention facility visiting room, she will definitely be held on the warrant until the issuing jurisdiction comes for her.
Read moreThat is a very good point, but there is another side to it. Inmates that have a job and do actually receive a "pay check", but their pay is miniscule. They make about 12 cents an hour on average. If the phone calls are several dollars each, there are not enough work hours to pay for all of the calls you'd like to get. If you are mad at him and do not want to pay for the calls, you
Read moreThis is something that you might have a better feel for, since you know him. He will probably get back to you after he straightens out his problems with his girlfriend.
Read moreThere is nothing easy about incarceration - for them or for you. Separation is painful but time tends to heal the wounds. Depending upon the crime, the length of the sentence and financial situation weighs accordingly. If you are strong and want to help your inmate get through this in the most comfortable fashion, InmateAid has all of the services that will make that possible. Although we encourage you to engage and remain connected, we also caution you to not
Read moreYou want to change who your inmate may call? That will NEVER happen. You cannot control the inmate's call list, visitation list or how they spend the money they have on their books. Inmates have privacy rights, too. If you do not want an inmate to contact you, you can call the facility and speak to a counselor or case manager - they will see to it that you are not disturbed.
Read more