Relationship Issues — Ask the Inmate
Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.
Related InmateAid Services
You probably already know the answer. The mail room did not do this. Incoming and outgoing mail at correctional facilities is handled by corrections staff, and while mistakes happen occasionally, deliberately switching the contents of two outgoing envelopes is not something that occurs on their end. This was his doing. The more important question is what it tells you. A man corresponding romantically with another woman from inside is making a deliberate choice. Writing letters takes time and intent.
Read moreno, conjugal visits are very rare. there are only a few places in the country that still allow it.
Read moreWe would advise you to go with your feelings. You said, " I'm 100 sure of that should I continue keeping in contact with him", this is what you should do, but be mindful of the baby momma and the child. These two people will be in the picture for many, many years and you will have to accept it for your relationship with him to work. If you make that transition smooth, the rest will be a piece of
Read moreThe most meaningful things you can do consistently are also the most practical ones. Letters and photos matter more than almost anything else. A letter gives him something to hold, reread, and think about during the stretches when nothing is happening. Photos of you specifically close a psychological distance that phone calls and money on the books cannot. The more you send, the more present you remain in his daily reality. Beyond that, keeping money on his books for
Read moreYou have all the control because you "can" walk out. He can't. You showed him that you could and his natural reaction is to try and gain some measure of dignity back by having his mom message you with his show of control. Three years is a long time together, if you want to work things out, you will need to send some love letters which talk about the issue and take some blame and apologize. If you want someone
Read moreNo. Inmates have a right to privacy. Therefore, the records of an inmate's financial, communicative and legal remain private unless required for production in a lawsuit with a court order attached.
Read moreAnything is possible but it would be very rare if ever happens. Inmates are not permitted to communicate with other inmates (by telephone, email or mail) regardless of relation, without permission from the warden.
Read moreThe inmate's visitation list, their phone calls, their commissary money (who supplies it) or incoming mail are all covered under the Privacy Act. This information is not available.
Read moreThis depends on the strength of your relationship before he went in. How long will is the sentence? How was he treating you one year before the crime?
Read moreThis will be tough for both of you. The separation causes many relationships to falter after the first year.
Read more