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Incarceration puts enormous strain on every type of relationship, marriages, partnerships, parent-child bonds, friendships, and family connections of all kinds. The distance, the communication barriers, the financial stress, and the emotional weight of the situation test relationships in ways that most couples and families are not prepared for. This section covers how to maintain a healthy relationship during incarceration, how to navigate jealousy, suspicion, and communication breakdowns when contact is limited to calls and letters, what the research shows about relationships that survive incarceration versus those that do not, how to support a partner or family member emotionally from the outside, and how to approach the changes that both people go through during a long sentence. The guidance here is honest about the difficulty while being realistic about what is possible with consistent effort and genuine commitment. See also our sections on Family Services, Visitation, and Marriage in Prison.

Subject: Relationship issues
Yes, we have more than one person write. When you're locked up you have nothing but free time. To us, the more letters, the better. For calls, in federal inmates may only talk 300 minutes per month (400 minutes in Nov. and Dec.), state inmates can talk all day if they have the funds on their account. Many penpals will send money so that the inmate will call them. Some do, some don't We don't mean to play mind games, BUT, the...
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Subject: Relationship issues
It is possible, but the answer depends on why you were gate-locked at the prison and whether that information has been shared with the county jail. Gate locking at a state or federal facility creates a record within that institution's system. County jails operate their own separate visitor approval processes and do not always have access to or share information with the state prison system. If the county jail runs its own independent background check and your denial at the prison...
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Subject: Relationship issues
Yes, and it is more common than most people on the outside realize. A significant portion of the incarcerated population does their entire sentence completely alone. No visits, no phone calls, no letters. Nobody putting money on the commissary account, nobody checking in, nobody counting down the days with them. They go in with whatever connections they had and watch those connections quietly disappear over months and years until there is nobody left. It happens for all kinds of reasons. Long sentences...
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Subject: Relationship issues
No. An inmate's call list, visitation list, and trust fund account are all private and that information is not available to you regardless of your relationship to them. That is the factual answer. Here is the honest one. The fact that you are asking this question means something is already telling you that something is off. Trust that instinct, because it is rarely wrong. Inmates have access to more people than most of their partners on the outside realize, through letters, pen...
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Subject: Relationship issues
The most valuable thing I took out of prison was the absolute certainty that I never wanted to go back. That sounds simple, but it is more powerful than it might seem. When that conviction is real and not just something you say, it changes how you make decisions on the outside in ways that are hard to explain until you have lived it. The deeper lesson came from having enough time and enough quiet to look honestly at the patterns...
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Subject: Relationship issues
Inmates are going to receive mail from whomever wants to take the time to write. I was married and yet an old girlfriend or two who I'd not spoken to in years reached out. I told my wife about it. I'm sure she didn't think it was innocent, but I was thrilled that they sent me magazines and books. It was kindness on their part, and it didn't lead to anything, I'm still happily married to my wife. If an ex is...
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Subject: Relationship issues
There could be circumstances where the phone might not be a privilege at the moment. You can always call the facility and ask to speak with the case manager or counselor, they will give you a straight answer why, if there is a reason or not.
Subject: Relationship issues
Inmates cannot receive phone calls. The only way is to write them and open up the first communication with them.
Subject: Relationship issues
Every inmate does their time differently. If he is staying silent now it is probably his defense mechanism. You are probably going to have to give him some time. Whatever happened that caused his incarceration, he is going through some emotional swings especially if this is recent. He will go through several stages before he is able to actually confront his demons. He might be blaming you (not your fault, don't let this upset you), but it is more likely a...
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Subject: Relationship issues
LOL, no way!! Are you kidding? There is a story every week about a CO going to prison for sex with an inmate. That is the lowest of the low. The CO has an inmate in a very compromising position, and they of power. To abuse that there isn't a sentence long enough for that kind of predator. The inmates LOVE an incarcerated former CO :)
Subject: Relationship issues
No, they can block you from visitation and they can refuse to call you or write but you can add all the money you care to.
Subject: Relationship issues
There is not much you can do except "ride or die". You have to keep yourself busy. You can stay comnnected through phone calls, letters, send sexy pictures, visit as often as you can. We hope his sentence isn't too long and that you guys can reunite soon
Subject: Relationship issues
Yes I did. I had a 96 month sentence and lost my wife at 19 months into the bid. Most women are not ride or die, not that I would expect them to wait because this crime was my doing, not hers. It killed me for a few months but I realized that life was not over and that I would get out someday. I worked on myself, my mind and when I was released I won her back :) ...
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Subject: Relationship issues
the inmates love them but they are not allowed 
Subject: Relationship issues
I've actually seen inmates have sex with their loved one in the visitation room of a federal prison camp. The security is not in your face and the visits are the best they can be, seated on picnic tables so getting close easy.  If you risk doing so and get caught or someone snitches on your (like in this case), the visits will end forever and the inmate will spend months in the SHU before they transfer him to a higher...
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